for those who don't want to just wait it out

Up in the air

2010-01-21T20:14:00.002+11:00

I haven’t seen the new George Clooney movie yet, but I’m beginning to think I might be able to identify with a couple of the themes. You know you’re spending a bit of time on the move when the airline attendants can greet you by name before they look at your boarding card (to be fair, there is a set crew that’s on the run that I do and I am one of the few blonde passengers) and the staff at the place I get my coffee at in Dubai airport smile with the familiarity of my predictable order of a latte and fruit salad… I’m finding myself in an unusual category that I never expected to be in, that’s for sure…

I knew being on this side of the world would mean a fair bit of travel to meet with and learn from different people but I don’t think I realised just how much! And it’s funny how there’s actually always more that you could do… more people to meet, more to see, more to ask questions of, more to learn, more… more… more…. The trick is learning when to say “no, thankyou”.

One thing that I haven’t said no to, which is what finds me back at the airport this morning, is a trip to Jordan and Syria to meet with some co-workers who might end up being my trainers in the latter half of the year. I was able to have a too quick breakfast with them in Melbourne a month ago and was struck by their joy, humility, generosity and passion. So when they invited me to come and join them for a few days to see first hand some of the work that they do (they’ve worked in the ME for the last 10-15 years), and to meet with some of their friends I jumped at the chance.

They are back here to finish up some things, take a team of aussies on a month long teaching trip (which is who I will be joining and spending some time with over the next week) and ship back the rest of their things to Melbourne.

I’ll be honest, I can’t decide if I’m more excited to see Petra (among other things, land of Indiana Jones) or Damascus (among other things, the setting of some of Paul’s escapades) … or just what will be unveiled in late night conversations (tomorrow we’re staying in a Bedouin tent in the Jordan desert) but I’m thankful that I get to have both.

The thing about travel and a life on the move is that it can be incredibly superficial – whether it’s the relationships or the experiences. While I have this time over here, while I see new things and meet with incredible people, I want to pray against just being a sponge that absorbs everything for myself, or like the sliding door that let’s you look in or out as you go through customs… If I’m up in the air, I want to engage with the one who keeps me there and those He puts me in contact with.

Their calling my flight – Amman here I come…

All in good time

2010-01-13T23:53:00.006+11:00

When it comes round to the week before Christmas, and presents start to pile up under the tree, something snaps inside of me and I revert to a 5 year old. This Christmas just gone I almost had a tanty when I realised that mum had sealed up my stocking with some really strong wirey stuff that I would either have to cut of (and then figure out how to replace it) or spend an hour or so wiggling it off and then attempting to get it back on if I wanted to find out what was inside before Christmas morning.

There is something in me that can’t let presents sit there, with my name on the tag and not try to figure them out. I press, I squeeze, I shake… I close my eyes to try and make my fingers some how more sensitive and analytical in an attempt to figure out exactly what it is that lies beneath the shiny wrapping, because waiting two more days just seems too much for me…. I know, it’s more than a little pathetic but I just can’t seem to help myself. I want to know what good things are in store for me before it’s time to open them.

Or at least that’s the conclusion that I’ve come to since a friend gently chided me the other day on treating life like the presents under the tree. I was told, in no uncertain terms, that sometimes the good things in life are like the presents and some presents are more fragile than others. We run the risk of crushing, damaging or breaking the fragility of them by all of the shaking that we do in trying to figure them out ahead of time. That sometimes, horror of horrors, there is joy in waiting until the right moment and being pleasantly surprised to find out what is hiding beneath the paper and the bows.

Which, if I’m being perfectly honest, sounds just lovely and all gooey when you put it like that (lofty ideals are nice after all) but is just flipping hard to put into practice! That bright shiny thing with my name on it potentially holds the promise of something really good, which is intended for me!!! And you’re telling me I need to wait? I need to be patient? I need to hold back and have someone else tell me “ok, now it’s time to go for it”?

Ugh, shoot me now or put some restraints on me… or just don’t show me that the presents are there and within my reach…

But maybe, just maybe, there is a little sense in what my friend challenged me on too.

This morning I picked up the second in a series of sermons on Ecclesiastes (pop over to itunes and download smbc’s podcasts) which focused on 3:1-14:

1There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven: 2a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, 3a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, 4a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, 5a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain, 6a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, 7a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, 8a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace.

9What does the worker gain from his toil?

10I have seen the burden God has laid on men. 11He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end. 12I know that there is nothing better for men than to be happy and do good while they live. 13That everyone may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all his toil—this is the gift of God. 14I know that everything God does will endure forever; nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it. God does it so that men will revere him.

KP raised a number of great points in terms of how we approach time and waiting (especially in western culture), weighing up the fact that most of us will approach time as a quantity and not a quality. That we too easily forget that the other dimension to a great BBQ with friends, is the measured moments of buying the food, chopping the salads and washing the dishes. We will enjoy one moment in time and yet begrudge the other that enables us to enjoy all sorts of experiences.

If it’s the first eight verses of chapter three that show us the multiple dimensions to time and human experience, then it is the following six that help us understand the tension of why we find it so hard to wait in between those moments of quality.
As we keep asking what to do with the moments of time that we’re in (laughing, weeping, mourning, dancing, life, death) we face the desire to predict the future for the comfort that it will give us today because:

He has set eternity in the hearts of men

.
Talk about your killer lines!

To quote KP’s sermon:

We have a human capacity to imagine the future and be aware of more than just the moment but He doesn’t tell us what we’re going to need to do from beginning to end but that instead we live in His creation with it’s properties of time and space, and that isn’t always easy to do….

Nope, I think we can all agree that isn’t easy to do – but taking a step closer to look again at verse 14 we can see the motivation behind the wisdom, for He is the one who works in, through and above time and has it all in His hands. That the goodness of His plans will last… forever… beyond that glorious moment of freeing the present from under the pesky sticky tape. Verse 14 also hints at something bigger as well because it seems to be that it’s in the practice of waiting and patiently enjoying the moments of uncertainty in those dual dimensions of time, that we are also bringing Glory to Him as He glorifies Himself in having it all in His hands.

There’s no doubt in my mind that 48 weeks from now I will be back to crawling around under the Christmas tree trying to figure out which gifts are for me and carefully examining the shape of them to try and imagine what’s in store. In these next 48 weeks I want to put into practice the joy and delight of being thankful for each aspect of the dimension of time that I’m in (the good, the bad, the ugly and the sublimely beautiful) because He gives us the freedom to do so.

I want to keep remembering that what’s in store is precious and can be damaged when I try and rush into figuring it out – when I get so caught up in the future that I forget to handle with care in the moment…

2010-01-03T00:38:00.001+11:00

Picture this… you’re driving down the main road (having just managed to swerve the donkey that pulled out in front of you) with the windows down, cool wind blowing, blue sky glowing and sister hazel (or whatever you’re equally sentimental musical pick may be) is coming through your ipod… A pretty good afternoon…

I’m back on the island and it’s safe to say that this afternoon served as a sweet taste reminding me of some of the reasons why I like it here.

Don’t get me wrong, it was great being back in Australia (let’s face it, who wouldn’t love being in Sydney over a summery Christmas? Check out some pictures on the flickr if you need the proof!) But there are things that I’ve missed being away from here too. The sweet smell of Arabic perfume wafting through the small wooden incense burners, desert sunsets, hommos, feasting your eyes on the rainbow of spices for sale at the markets, the elegance of women walking in their abayas… the list could go on.

But most especially, the people and the relationships that we have started to cultivate. It was great walking into church the other morning to be welcomed by big hugs and go out to lunch with 20 people from 7 different cultures – you haven’t seen cross cultural stuff until you’ve watched some Africans jumping and dancing with Philippinos’ to worship music followed by a German teaching an American and an Indian French greetings over a Thai lunch… trippy but true…

Tonight I’m going go-carting with some friends and the F1 track with three aims; fun, pictures and coming back with nothing broken or too badly scratched up!

Where is your FOCUS?

2009-09-14T05:54:00.002+10:00

My parents have a boat. It’s a nice boat that’s harboured in a really pretty part of Sydney’s waterways. The few times that I’ve been out on it I’ve noticed one thing. It’s really easy to just sit there and drift. I’m not a nautical kinda gal but even I can notice that you can be anchored somewhere and still get swung around so that you have all sorts of views and get turned around from the place where you got started.

If you think a metaphor for life is coming – bingo, you get a gold star…

Over the last couple of months as I’ve been wandering around, going to conferences and meeting new people and teams I’ve often wondered about the direction that I’ve come from and where I’m heading to. To be honest, I think I started to loose my focus and so in the last few days I’ve found myself asking, “What exactly am I doing again? What and who am I doing it for?” etc..

Last week I was heading back from a campus and a new friend that I was driving with reminded me that we need to keep speaking the gospel together. It’s one thing to talk about, or rather around, the gospel but it’s another thing all together to keep speaking the message of the Cross to each other. A seemingly off handed verse reference from someone is sharpening me and reminding me that I’m not the only one. Hebrews 12:2 is a slap in the face sometimes for those of us who can drift a little. It’s about Jesus. It is only ever, past, present and future, about Jesus.

So I started to read through Hebrews and this morning have been pondering on chapters 3 and 4 in particular. I’m thankful for them and for the reminder that I am not alone, that others drift (hence the anchor analogy with the author reminding the first audience not to drift away) and that we need to keep reminding each other of the Gospel that we first heard, the message of the Grace of God that He would send His one and only Son to die an ugly brutal death on a Cross in my place for my sins and yours, and that He conquered death and my sins as proven by His resurrection three days later. The simple beauty of Grace should make us want to weep in thankfulness and joy. And yet why do we forget it? Why do we get our focus clouded? Why do we forget the joy and focus on the burdens?

Are you drifting? Are you forgetting? Are you questioning? Take it a step back to a bigger question… Are you a Christian? For anyone one of those answers I’d give you the same answer:

Go back to the Cross.

Right now.

Examine it.

Question it.
Be eternally thankful for it.

Sit down with a friend, ask your questions (for that matter send me a message or email and we can look for the answers together) but, for Gods sake (well, maybe more so for yours) go back to the Cross. Can I be any clearer?

In addition to reading the Bible (why not start with Marks gospel or join me in Hebrews – read a chunk and we can be at the same place within the next… oh… 20 mins or so?) I’d like to recommend a book that I’ve been reading this week by CJ Mahanney The Cross Centred Life. It’s a tiny book (when you’ll see it you’ll know that I could have finished it in a couple of hours) but I’m only a few chapters in because I think it’s the type of book that is good to mull over and prompts you to ask some tough questions (and some of you will know more than others what a fan I am of those!).

What happens when you learn a part of your own story?

2009-08-27T05:05:00.007+10:00

I’m one of those confused people. I call myself an only child (which is pretty much how I was raised) and yet I also talk about a much loved sister and brother, their spouses and nieces and nephew (I don’t do ‘halves’). There have been times when I’ve felt a little out of step – not only with my society but also with my family. I write this full well knowing that one day they may see of read this and so I write hoping not to cause offence but to say things as I see them, hopefully as accurately as possible.

My family wouldn’t exactly class themselves as a religious family. In the past we have gone to Easter and Christmas services together, but I’m the only one who would go to church regularly and would want to talk about, or raise, matters of ‘faith’ and ‘religion’. And so, I think it would be fair to say that there have been times when not only have I felt a little out of step with my family ‘norm’ but also been encouraged to not raise certain issues, to not take faith “so seriously” and to think about careers choices that don’t involve ministry. I always know that I'm loved, accepted and valued but never quite understood in terms of how and why I think so much about Jesus and have Him influence my life so much.

Until today.

As you’ll know, I’m in Scotland – thinking about the future and how it’s shaped by people of the past. Today we took a drive through the highlands (I was just keen to see Hamish) to get to what is probably one of the oldest churches in Scotland that had it's foundation in Druid worship (oh yeah, and it's also famous because of some other character, Rob Roy, being buried there).

You can read about the history of Balquhidder here, but the most important thing that came out of my time there today (other than just being at a cool site!) was that this place is literally the birth place of my family - both in name and generational span. Not many families throughout history can trace their lineage to an exact place and year, but I learnt that I can.

More than that though, I was able to learn about the ways in which the family was born - and what was their basis of daily life. It was their faith. It was Who the stood for (and who they stood in opposition too) that gave them the name.

Standing in the cemetery, looking at the gravestones and thinking of ancestors who had stood for something in the name of Jesus I felt…. Relief. Joy. Hope. A longing to get to heaven and meet my family not only in the Spirit but also in blood. I felt a kinship to this land that I have felt before, but never breathed. Does that make any sense or does it just sound nutty? Standing in the glen, the foothills of mountains, running water and stories from generations gone by, I felt like I could breath the air of McLarens before me. This was their land. They stood for something. They stood for Jesus. I wont know anything really about them while on earth, but I will be able to meet them in heaven and hear their stories... and that will be awesome.

I was able to spend some time with some closer McLaren relations too. My Pop's brother and sister and their families. It was special to be with them at the one year anniversary of the death of a man that we all loved greatly and made it easier being away from home. One of the things I remember about my Pop is his hugs. No one, and I mean no one, could hug me the way he did. There was just something unique about it - until his younger brother John managed to do it in the same way... Must've been something in the way their parents raised them!

I've said goodbye to the rest of the group that I spent the week in 'conversations' with. It was a great week and great friendships have begun, been renewed, re-strengthen and re-understood because of these last few days. More and more I'm feeling the absence and difficulty that comes with different time zones - but I'm thankful for each glimmer of times I get to spend with special friends. Hopefully you've been able to check out some of the stuff on you-tube - more snippets of the group will be coming up when I get the chance to edit stuff and hopefully it will make you smile as you get a glimpse into what was a great week.

So I'll be saying goodbye to Scotland in a couple of days time. It's been fun - but I'm definitely looking forward to heading down to London and the next part of this coming 'journey'. It's going to be interesting to see what He has in store.

x j

Have you met Miss Jones?

2009-08-18T22:31:00.007+10:00

I’ve had a soft spot for Ms Jones ever since I read her diaries while living in London in 2000. I empathised with her highs and lows and just loved the ways in which the character expressed herself so fully through the words she placed in her diary.

There’s another Miss Jones who bounced into my life in 2005 on the concourse at UTS. Which is where I expected her to be the other day; in Sydney and most definitely not in Scotland.

Imagine this for a scenario. You’re a bit tired, cold and damp, you have thongs on and have just been informed you’re walking up the 287 steps of a Scottish monument just to ‘check it out’ to see if others in the group would want to go later. You probably are acting a little like a petulant child (ok, let’s face it I could have been on the verge of a tanty) as you stomp up the narrow (one way up, same way down, let’s get really close to a bunch of strangers on the way) staircase to get to the fourth level.

So you can imagine that I was somewhat distracted when I did eventually get to the top and realise that it was a pretty good view and worth taking photos of. I’d managed to snap off one or two of Edinburgh castle when a fellow tourist said “Nice view isn’t it?” I abstractly agreed before turning to face the chatty tourist…. Here’s a rough transcript of what went through my head in the next few milliseconds:

“She looks like Alex”

“She looks a LOT like Alex”

“That’s Alex”

“That’s not Alex, I’m in SCOTLAND”

“Alex is in Sydney and NOT in Scotland”

“That IS ALEX IN SCOTLAND!!!”

“What is Alex doing in Scotland???”

“Shut up voices and give her a hug!!!”

Hugs, and the inevitable tears, ensued as both Alex and Nigel kept congratulating each other on doing so well in giving me what has to be the biggest surprise of my life. Turns out, Alex was indeed here for the week to join in the conversations that 14 or so of us from around the globe have come together to have. Conversations about the bible, about how the bible shapes and informs what we seek to do, and how what we seek to do is actually be people who will stand up, show up, and influence those around us for the Glory of Christ.

I like that Alex is here, of course I do, I like it a lot! But aside from liking it because this is a young women that I mentored for 5 years, cherish and laughed with, what I like about it the most is that is shows the passing on of things. Alex is here not for me but for her, to see how God will guide her, and how she will respond… Any number of people from Credo could have come because through the ministry at UTS they have grown and matured to be the new generation of those who will stand, lead and serve in all sorts of different ways. It’s not about me, it’s not about the other staff, it’s about the way that Jesus has been working in their lives and how He will continue to use them to speak into the lives of others.

More reflections from our time together will come a bit later – but in the meantime you can check out some of what we’re thinking through here

The day I meet the IRA

2009-08-18T22:25:00.002+10:00

You see movies of the IRA (Brad Pitt comes to mind in one of them) and I’ve always had the image of them being hardened snarly criminal looking types… not nice older men who offer you a cuppa, tell you your ‘grand’ and want to have a wee chat in the early morning light.

I don’t know what I was expecting last week when I got up early to wander around L’Derry/Free Derry (or just plain old Derry). I wasn’t expecting to feel like a fraud and I wasn’t expecting to want to weep with a stranger. I got up early on a day when I needed to drive for ages to get down to Galway. And so before the rest of the town and the tourist were up and about, I headed over to some well-known artwork that display and describe some of the pain that this town has seen over the years. I felt like a fraud as I walked around and took photos, somehow turning someone’s tragedy into a tourist happy snap…

As I kept walking though, I came across a man hoisting up a republic of Ireland flag. Now, if you’re slower on your Irish political history (like I am) then what you need to know is that, as far as I can tell, this is an illegal act because Derry/Nrth Ireland is a part of the UK and so shouldn’t be flying another countries flag. So I walked up to the man and politely asked him to fill me in – “was the flag actually raised each morning and night, or…?”.

I saw him take in the innocent confusion on my face as well as the camera and backpack and watched him decide whether or not to talk to me. He decided to share and informed me that no, the flag wasn’t supposed to be up, but there was a small group of people that would raise it on the anniversary of “one of the death’s” as he nodded to the moment with the names of, I think, 12 people. These were the people who, as political prisoners along with Bobby Sands died as a result of refusing to eat whilst in jail as a protest to British occupation of Nth Ireland.

I’m not going to get into politics, into the rights and wrongs, but what I will say is that I felt like weeping with this man who has seen, and struggled, more than most – and almost certainly more than you and I combined. I found him on a morning where he was remembering those who he had played with as a child, had grown through puberty and first loves with and watched as they slowly and painfully died for their cause.

It was a sharp reminder that we go to places, we see their beauty (and Ireland is certainly a beautiful country) but we can’t forget to scratch below the surface and see what makes up the blood as well as the beauty of the place we find our selves in.

My time in Ireland was wonderful. It was full of beauty and discovery and I’m thankful that I got to share some of it with a wonderful friend from Sydney… But I also can’t help wishing I could go back to that morning, stay on the bench a little longer and hear more of the stories of what makes Ireland as unique as it is.

Prague

2009-07-29T20:11:00.005+10:00

After finishing debrief with the team, they headed back to the land of Oz while I hopped on a plane to London to spend 36 hours. It was great to go back to friends that I lived with there years ago, and it was as if the 9 years had never been - just sitting up all night talking, enjoying good food and wine and catching up on life. Having lived in London for a while I never actually did many of the touristy things so I decided to use my day there trying to take in all the sites. But the queues (and the fact that Buckingham Palace was closed) got the better of me so I just walked as much as possible around the centre and going back to some favourite places when I worked in Nottinghill... It was nice to walk down memory lane... as well as a packed Portobello Rd.

And now, welcome to Prague. Home to cobbled pathways, winding streets, castles galore, classical music and ice-creams on every corner. The Gulf seems very far away s I'm surrounded by greenery and water! I have 5 nights here in total which has been ample time to take in all of the sites. Probably too much time but it's been a great excuse to have long lunches in cafes and watch everyone else race by, to walk along the river or enjoy reading in one of the many parks in the afternoon sun. I can see why so many people rave about this city. Not only has it been able to keep it's old world charm but there is so much history here in terms of music, architecture and religion and I would definitely tell friends to come here.

After having spent a month, 24/7, with people it's a little strange being on my own but I'm taking it as a good chance to rest up and enjoy it while I can!

A slightly better update

2009-07-18T05:16:00.005+10:00

So, for those who haven't been able to read more elsewhere, I thought it was about time I give out a few more details about some of the things we've been doing for our month in the Gulf.

For the most part we've been spending time in one main village, B, teaching English and building relationships with a lot of the locals. It's been an amazing time with them and we've found that we've been able to have relationships that are much deeper because we were there last year too. While locals were always friendly and happy to have us there last year, this time it's gone way beyond that as we've gone into at least 5 homes, shared meals, heard stories... it's been above and beyond what we expected.

Some things have changed here (mostly the landscape with heaps of cranes and construction happening around the clock) but others, the heat, the generosity of the church here, the great food... they're all as good (well, maybe not so much the heat - but you get used to it) as I remember and I'm happy to be back.

The team has been going well and have been throwing themselves in to all aspects of life here. It's hard to believe that we only have a few more days here before heading to D for the debrief time. And then holidays for me!!!

I can't wait. Almost 3 weeks of alone time and exploration, first Prague and then Ireland before some time in Scotland for some ministry conferences. I'm looking forward to all of it!

repenting in dust and ashes... well... mostly dust...

2009-07-06T19:50:00.001+10:00

I'm sorry. Bad Bad BAD Blogger... been a crazy month but I'm now safe and sound on the other side of the world. It's great to be back in the Gulf and I'm loving spending time with new friends and old and being able to go back to one of the villages in particular that we were at last year.

For those who want something to look at, head over to my you tube channel to start getting some visual updates.

More later
x j

and for some of the other women in my life...

2009-05-25T12:34:00.002+10:00

Last Saturday (23rd) was a great day. I admit it, in the past I have had a, shall we say... sceptical? view of women's events. All to often I find that they are some what on the fluffy side - that they've talked about how be a 'nice godly gal' rather than reaching into the robustness of scripture and grappling with God; who He is and who we are to be as His daughters in light of His sovereignty and our redemption.

And so it was with a little dubiousness that I went along with some of the female leaders of Credo to the eQuip conference but I loved it! Somewhat providentially I decided to go through the book of Esther with these girls in January and so it was great that this was the book that the speakers were working through this year. I was impressed by how much content of the book they were able to include in two talks as well as the creativity that was used in the reading of the text and setting the context of the book in light of Israel waiting for a deliverer. Visually, the organisers set the platform up as a larger than life chess board - reminding us as we were listening that the book of Esther has players in the game, and the one Sovereign hand that is controlling the action throughout.

A summary of 4 things to take away from Esther that we were given at the end was:

1. We are to be humble - to accept the position that God has given us
2. We are to be excited - to expect that God will use us in His plans
3. We are to be purposeful - to be activley using our position and lives with wisdom (we're not waiting around for a script!)
4. We are to be courageous - to be willing to risk our position for His glory

The last point in particular struck a chord with me - courage is something that I have been thinking about quite a lot lately. Where it comes from and Who do I draw any I have from?

What I especially treasured about the day was that I got to spend it with 7 out of the 8 leaders that disciple and spend time with. These truly are some of the other women in my life and I treasure each and every one of them. To you girls, I want you to know how proud and delighted I am in each of you - for who you are, more than for the things that I get to see you do (although I do love seeing those things too!). I'm humbled that you let me share in your lives and I can't wait to be able to look back with you and see all the ways that God has worked in and through you over the years.

Only a slightly different note - this is going to be a good, and a big, week for me. I get to spend time with some friends (good coffee and corn fritters at Bills are on the agenda for tomorrow morning) and it's the last week of term on campus and with Credo. I'll be speaking at public meeting this week - mostly based on 1 Cor 16 hopefully mirroring some of Paul's goodbyes with a few of my own...

The Women

2009-05-17T21:44:00.003+10:00

During my enforced couch/sick time this week I had a little flick through the movies and came up with "The Women" with some of the actresses being Meg Ryan, Annette Benning, Debra Messing... it was a good cast but a pretty average movie. It covered the themes of love, betrayl, adultery, loyalty and - of course - the incredible bond that women can share. Despite it being an average movie it got me thinking - a lot actually - about the women that are in my life, and in particular some of the extraordinary friends that I have and the blessings that they are to me.

I am so thankful for each of my close girlfriends... there are about half a dozen women who I would drop anything from anywhere in the world to be with (and I know it's vice versa) and this weekend I got to spend time with two of them

Naree

and Anna

For different reasons we each shed a few tears together today - and I love that we're there to wipe them away for each other. To you girls, and the others, I love ya!!! And I'm thankful that distance doesn't lesson love and significance in each others lives.

All good weeks involve cupcakes - and other sweet things

2009-05-09T09:39:00.005+10:00

Do you have those places in your life, physical places that you've spent time, that you've made your home in, that have become such a part of your history that whenever you step back onto the ground that you just seem to breath a little more comfortably and freely? For me, Sydney Missionary and Bible College is one of those handful of places.

I was a student here for just two years, but they were two years that helped to shape guide and direct the person that I am and the ministry that I have today. So you can imagine that I've been looking forward to heading back there this week just gone for a week long preaching conference. The four main speakers were Jerry Bridges, Bryan Chappell, John Woodbridge and Kanishka Raffel and it's so worthwhile getting the dvd's or the mp3's so that you can listen to their collective wisdom.

Here are some of the rebukes and challenges that I felt coming out of the conference:
* I don't pray enough (or have big enough prayers) because ultimately I don't believe that God will, can or wants to answer them
* We should never try and limit what God can do
* I'm neither 'good' nor 'bad' because of my actions - grace, in all of it's sovereignty means that I am either or purely because of where I stand before the Cross

I've also just come back from the Blue Mountains with about 50 of the Credo students on the IDEAL getaway which is a combination of (mostly) the design arts and humanities students with the engineering and IT faculties. Last year we looked at relationships and this year we tackled spiritual warfare. It was just great to sit and watch some of the students sitting in the morning sun, reading their bibles, pointing out things to one another and asking each other questions. I was able to have a couple of really good conversations that I wanted to have - and each time I walk away humbled that students allow me to speak into their lives in any degree. For those who let me speak a little more strongly, who battle their way through my reflective questions (I can see them grimacing now) I thankyou the most, and I trust that they know that I do it with a whole lot of love.

Driving back down the mountains I have to say I was a little sentimental. It's now just over 6 weeks until I go and so I can't imagine that I'll get back there for a year or so. I think similar to SMBC, it's one of those places that I will always associate with good times - good conversations over hot choc's or a meal at the Carrington pub... or breakfast at ziggys's or one of cupid's cupcakes! (mmm - there is a running theme - but they usually involved at least one other person!)

It's been a pretty intense few weeks and so I'm looking forward to a bit of down time this week. I think the highlights will be seeing my Nanna tomorrow... and maybe a cupcake or two on Wednesday....

From the North Island and back to the North Shore

2009-04-25T23:19:00.001+10:00

You know you might not be looking your best when you get on the plane, the stewardess automatically asks you if she can get you some water, you sit down to have the sweet (but still a stranger) little old lady just pick up your hand and start stroking it, move a stewardess to share a sympathetic tear too and have another passenger in the seats on the other side of the aisle pop up after the plane's levelled out to come and pat you on the shoulder and say "it's ok to be sentimental sweetheart".

mmm....

The comment about sentimentality came after the stewardess asked me if I'd 'left someone special behind' to which I mumbled "no" (well that's not entirely true because there were several special someones I left behind!) but that I was just being overly sentimental. This trip to NZ was always going to leave me a little sentimental. I knew it would be a great time of catching up with friends, of meeting families and developing new relationships as well as having some significant conversations. It was all of those and more.

The more was in long drives through the countryside, on the way out to wineries, walking along beaches or sitting in cafes eating breakfast at 2pm.... Life Is Good.

NZ is a spectacular country (why have I not been there before now?!) and it was great to have spent a little time exploring the north island while leaving me waiting to discover the south. Having started in Auckland for the Northern Region Easter camp for TSCF students and then a preaching day conference (more reflections on both of them later though), the Pollocks took me on a journey through Rotorua, Napier and then into Wellington where I got to spend the rest of the week with them and some others - particularly Ben and Val (also TSCF).

I'm uploading a bunch of new photos onto flickr so have a peak and read some more descriptions of some of the areas we visited if you're interested.

As one friend there said, it was a time away from Sydney that I wanted but also what I needed. I think it was needed to help me clear my head a little and refocus on the bigger picture of the next few months, rather than just getting caught up in too many details. It was a time that I needed, to be encouraged, challenged and supported and I'm thankful to each of my friends there who did that in various ways.

The highlight was spending time with the Pollocks, especially getting to know Ailsa and the boys. I was touched at just how warm and welcoming they all were and how easy it was just to hangout whether it was while we were exploring, having all sorts of conversations while driving, mucking around on beaches (even if they were laughing at me when I mistook a seagull for a kiwi - it was a brown bird though!) cooking in their kitchen or playing on the Wii (gotta master that skiing or soccer head-butting one for next time!).

On my last night, the Pollocks and Val gave me this koru which is a pendant made out of green-stone that you can only get in New Zealand. According to Maori tradition, you can't buy a koru it must be given to you by someone. Or perhaps a better word than 'given' would be 'entrusted' because a part of the gift of the koru is that it means that the pendant (and thereby you!) must go back to the ones who have given it to you one day. The one given to me is the triple infinity twist which symbolises the inter-twining of two cultures, people and stories for an eternal purpose... very appropriate that my NZ friends gave it to me then considering the road ahead. I was touched, and a little teary then as well as on the plane.

A part of the emotion on the way home may also have been that I knew this trip to NZ was the first in a series of markers, my own countdown if you will before I head back to the Gulf. It was probably fitting therefore that as my plane was rolling into the gangway, an Emirates plane was pulling out and heading for the runway - next time I'm at the airport for a flight, that'll be the one I'm on...

A bientot.

2009-04-13T12:51:00.007+10:00

ETC is pretty much always a highlight for both students and staff so it’s no wonder that I’ve just had a great weekend. A little tiring (mentally and physically) but so worthwhile to spend from Thursday night to Monday lunch with the students thinking through “Amazing Grace” and the Doctrine of Salvation. We had record numbers this year – with the peak being grads coming back on Saturday to see 120 in the hall singing, praying and learning from God’s word. The amazing part for me was walking in on Thursday night and realising that there were a bunch of people that I had never met who are involved in some way with Credo. It’s a catch 22 – we want to be a community that shares and grows in Christ together, but as we grow it means that there will be people that some of us don’t know! But it was great to actually start to get to know some of them better over discussion groups and meals. I think a highlight for me was seeing 18 first years ready to be involved with Credo and think about what it will mean to be a Christian at uni for the next however many years.

Here are some reflections/summaries that I typed up as the days went on to give you an over-view (DVD’s/talks etc will be available sometime soon)

Friday morning session: we looked at the ideas of salvation: how salvation is communicated in a variety of ways in Scripture and how we then need to be thinking creatively (and in ways that speak to a variety of cultures) to share the Gospel. It was particularly helpful because I find that so often we become comfortable, complacent or confined in the way that we think about talking to others about Jesus. We have ‘tracks’ that, although can be helpful to get us thinking, some people often come to rely on in a mechanistic kind of way – the gospel = a + b + c…. and so become unstruck when someone injects a ‘but what about xyz that are what’s going on in my life?’.

One example that Sam gave was imagine being in a country or culture that feared spiritual demons or attacks – it would be ludicrous to share the gospel without saying “I have good news for you – Jesus is more powerful than any Spirit – in fact he conquered the spirit that you’re most afraid of…” Similarly looking at the way that Jesus himself ‘contextualised’ the Gospel in the different ways that He talked with Niccodemas, the woman at the well, the Pharisees or the rich young man… each is different. Each points to Christ but is done in very different ways based on the lives of those who are coming to Him.

On Friday evening we were reminded of the Lords supper from 1 Cor 11. There was this great moment when 120 people were sitting in 5 groups around a pile of flatbread, hommous and large cups filled with juice. Rather than the way we normally do the Lords Supper (you know, tiny piece of white bread, crusts cut off and a thimble full of juice that looks more like a little shot glass?) it was great to be able to have a hunk of bread to chew over the things that we are thankful for with the physical sacrifice of Jesus and then to wash it down

I was in Rome a number of years ago, and like most people stopped to look through some of the great works of art throughout the city. The Sistine chapel paints an amazing scene for us – it’s the interface between God and us at the point of creation… It’s the Creator and the created and how they can interact. On Saturday morning we looked at how outside of Eden this is now done through calling, regeneration and conversion – we can come back to the Creator through the Cross. We also saw how in the bible there are many different ways that people are ‘converted’ or come to have faith in Jesus with a few of them being:

o Someone whose known about Jesus, walked away from faith and then come back (the prodigal son, Luke 15)
o Someone who has always been against Jesus and against Christians coming to see the truth of who He really is
(Saul/Paul, Acts 9, 22, 26; Gal:1)
o Someone whose grown up in a Christian home and has been taught the gospel from birth
(Timothy, 2 Tim 1:5, 3:15)

It was really encouraging to look at actually because it reminded me that there is not set way in which someone comes to understand, know and love Jesus. It’s not that there is a formula, or that one way is better than another – what matters is that you come to the Cross not the way in which you get there.

Sunday morning we hit the topics of justification and sanctification, imputed and imparted righteousness

Isaiah 6 sees God on His throne and Isaiah recognises that he is a man of unclean lips – that he as an unrighteous sinner and yet can stand before a Holy God is something that is hard for us to comprehend today in our own lives too. So often I look at myself and am fully aware of ways or things that I do that are displeasing to God – and yet I can still come before Him in prayer and I know I will in Heaven. It’s humbling to be reminded that this will never be because of any of the ‘good’ things we do, but because Jesus has justified us. Justification is God declaring us as right with Him, innocent and not guilty. This isn’t the Sunday school answer of ‘just as if I’d never sinned’. It recognises that we have sinned, we were unable to stand before God but not that sin has been dealt with and through Jesus we’ve been set free from our guilt.

On Sunday afternoon I did a session on arrogance, pride and humility and if nothing else one thing that really stood out to me was that when we come before the cross – when we remember that Jesus was there, broken, bruised and bloodied (for me) this is no room for pride or arrogance. There’s no room for arrogance in anything I can do or accomplish in the shadow of the cross. But more than this we looked a little at how God feels about pride, arrogance and humility; for those who were there (or those who weren’t and want to look up some verses) then I’d encourage you to look at again Is 66:2, James 4:6, Prov 6:16-17, Prov 8:13 and 1 Peter 5:5.

On Monday morning (today) we looked at adoption and reconciliation. I was really struck as Sam was talking about our need for adoption, both as children as God as heirs with Jesus and our adoption into a community of brothers and sisters. Grace is never an individual thing – it’s offered communally (God to His people) and is shared and experienced communally – both here on earth and in Heaven to come. As a family we share in a banquet. It’s an image that as westerners we don’t often get the imagery of because we just have our nice little 2 or 3 course dishes – and yet in most other cultures the idea of a banquet is feasting that you can never get through! There is a lavish abundance that we share in – and we get to share in it with God! Can you imagine the scene? A banquet in the company of God…. food, gifts and good things from God with an abundance more than we could ever imagine – so lavish that we could only ever touch the surface of it…

One of the things that was fun was Joel and I setting up an espresso machine to sell all things caffeine related to raise some cash for our short term teams (ok, let’s face it, Joel was doing the hard work, I was doing the talking and selling and the one time I tried to use the machine it wouldn’t work and I burnt my hand). Capitalising on peoples growing repulsion to ‘instant coffee’ (seriously? IT”S NOT COFFEE!!!!) we found that a flood of people came to make some purchases over breaky or after the morning sessions. And thankfully, it was worth it because we raised around $750!

I had some truly amazing conversations over the weekend – and I’m always touched by how students are so willing to honestly share some of the things/issues that they’re struggling and thinking through. Even more so how some will allow me to invest in them and their lives and challenge them, some times in daunting as well as exciting ways about how God could be working in their lives and how they can be bringing Him glory. It’s a blessing to be a part of their lives at a stage in life when they’re thinking the most about who they are, who God is, and how we can relate to Him.

It was great just to spend some more time with them and invest in ‘deepening Grace’. As a staff team we had the aims for the week of the talks ‘extending Grace’ and that though our conversations and seminars we wanted to ‘deepening Grace’ in the way that students esp saw and understood God’s goodness to us in all areas of our lives.

For those who haven’t already - meet Kirby! She’s one of the students who’ll be coming back to the Gulf with me and it was great to see her (and the rest of the team!) interacting and getting to know each other better and as well to officially introduce the teams to the rest of Credo for them to be praying for us and supporting us as Credo as a whole sends the teams OS.

So all in all, a little tiring (to be expected!) but yet another great ETC where we were blessed to see God working powerfully through the talks, sessions and just hanging-out-on-the-soccer-sidelines or sitting around with a cuppa conversations….

And now I’m off to do it all over again! Any minute now I’m going to be racing out of my place to head to the airport and over to New Zealand to join the TSCF students on their Northern Region Conference (Tues-Fri) and then spend some time after seeing a bit of the north island - I’ve never been to NZ before so I’m looking forward to seeing it! But more than seeing the island, I’m looking forward to spending time with the people that I’m going to se it with.

I was blessed at SPRTE in December to make some great new friends in the brothers and sisters that work with TSCF. I didn’t know at the time just how important they would come to be to me – so it’ll be wonderful to just hang out… to meet the rest of their families and kick back with a glass of wine and watch the world go by.

Back on the 25th – I’m sure stories and pics will come then
x j.

2009-03-29T13:35:00.001+11:00

Crumbs. It's been almost a month since my last post. I apologise because I distinctly remember 'promising' not to let it go this long between posts. But such is life.

And, as is usually the case when it takes me a while to get my butt into gear, 'life' has been delightfully full as I'm well and truly into the routine of another semester with Credo. God has been incredibly good to us with giving us great encouragement in having about 270 people in small groups this year with many of them coming from a bunch of new first years or sign up's from O'day and stalls weeks.

Whenever I meet a new batch of first years I always find myself wondering what they're thinking as they approach the start of a new phase of life. Are they excited? Nervous? Confidant? Hopeful? (and if so, hopeful for what?). It's been great getting to know a few of them over the last month - but a little harder to sit back and realise that as Credo grows, and as my ministry changes this year, there will be many that I wont get to know or names that I wont even remember, and that's ok - there's a generation of young leaders who are looking out for their 'littler' brothers and sisters.

But as I've been thinking about 2009's 1st years, I've been doing some more reading on culture and what this generation is facing. I came across one article (which I've quoted a chunk of below) and would like your thoughts on:

Twenge and others argue that young people today are narcissistic in a way that previous generations were not. The notion of narcissism, or looking outside one’s self to validate one’s own identity, goes back to the Greeks. But Twenge argues that the relentless focus on building children up as individuals has led to an inflated sense of empowerment and a diminished sense of responsibility. Individualism “may cause people to not value close relationships.” The combination of being pushed to develop as individuals and cynicism about adulthood, leads many teens to live adultesque lifestyles, despite their being unequipped to do so.

As a result, they live in a world where the yearning to be liked and to be fulfilled leads to a more mercenary approach to things and people. Narcissists favor short-term relationships, which may contribute to the “hooking up” culture of FWBs, Twenge says. Narcissists also have unrealistically high expectations, which may lead to anxiety and depression resulting in self-medicating through exploitative behaviors.⁶

Using things and people is certainly not new. It is the casualization and institutionalization of it within youth culture’s hall of mirrors that is troubling. Looking to other people or cultural expressions such as film, TV or magazines to grow in self-understanding is not a bad thing. It is, though, when it becomes more or less the main or even the only thing. The Internet reflects back, but often it does so in ways that diminish and exploit. Facebook and other networking sites have no product to sell except for exposure to other users. After all, the slogan of YouTube is “Broadcast Yourself.”

A wonderful amount of good happens on these sites. However, in cyber networking world, young adult attention spans and desires are commodities. Also, as the “private is the new public” and “kiss and blog is the new kiss and tell” discussions point out, cyber gut spilling and exhibitionism often have costs.

Years ago, when I was a media studies professor, a story a student told made a strong impression on me. There were two women who shared vulnerable details of their lives online. This happened despite the fact that they never met and apparently never spoke by phone. (This was pre-Skype and pre-iChat.) Later, without each other’s knowledge, they attended the same college. When one young woman ran up to the other and jubilantly introduced herself, the other woman was outraged. The other woman said she wanted nothing to do with her former bosom/detached friend. She said the other woman knew too much about her, but that she did not know her at all.

For the woman who did the rejecting, the Internet had served as a safe space because the beings in it existed through a monitor, across wires, somewhere else. For her, the autonomy and privacy of accessing cyberculture involved a shortcut somewhat similar to having an FWB. The technology created the opportunity for a transaction supposedly without consequence, or at least with much less baggage than a real world encounter.

As a result, she was able to get what she needed from the encounters, dig a cave in her soul and bury the memory of the experience there. The experience erupted upon meeting the person who co-facilitated it. Apart from the obvious dangers of disease and unwanted pregnancy, is cyber identity promiscuity so much less harmful? After all, how does the medium affect the communicator, his or her audience and the nature of relationships in general?

Remembering what an unstable transition adolescence is under the best circumstances, I can only imagine how it feels to yearn for significance and to want to know and be known in today’s disenchanted, young adult world. It’s easy to appreciate the appeal of shortcuts. No one who is older should feel superior. This generation is in no way inferior, but they do seem deprived. Though fallenness is a constant across generations, the aids that facilitate its extent and intensity are not. Challenges today are worse. Likewise, young people today seem to be left more to their own devices. Obviously, it is understandable that, on their own, they might handle their freedoms in a manner lacking maturity.

One of the sayings I did not mention earlier is “hope is the new rebellion.” This seems to argue that the malaise pervading youth culture is so widespread that hopefulness is a radical stance. Given the timeless connection between youth and rebellion, hope stands a good chance of reviving.

The gospel offers the ultimate reason for hope and a view of life that makes it real in everyday life. As I consider the detachment and transience in contemporary youth culture, I think of the physical presence of the church, flesh and blood people who care and who are committed to each other and a common Savior. What a balm for disenchantment and retreat.

Likewise, faith and taking short cuts are opposites. Faith is harder. However, it can re-enchant the world. As we live in relationship with a loving God, things like sex and self-discovery can regain a sense of wonder. The fishbowl of contemporary teen culture, as alluded to by What’s the New What, screams for grace, wisdom and strength. This series may not provide clean data, but it does something better: at least partially, it maps the heart.

Reactions?

Agree?

Disagree?

Lily on Life

2009-03-01T16:03:00.003+11:00

The song "The Fear" from Lily Allen has been playing on the radio a fair bit lately and, I have to say, that with all it's cynicism I really like it. Have a look at the words:

I want to be rich and I want lots of money
I don’t care about clever I don’t care about funny
I want loads of clothes and f***loads of diamonds
I heard people die while they are trying to find them

I’ll take my clothes off and it will be shameless
‘Cuz everyone knows that’s how you get famous
I’ll look at the sun and I’ll look in the mirror
I’m on the right track yeah I’m on to a winner

Chorus
I don’t know what’s right and what’s real anymore
I don’t know how I’m meant to feel anymore
When we think it will all become clear
'Cuz I’m being taken over by The Fear

Life’s about film stars and less about mothers
It’s all about fast cars and passing each other
But it doesn’t matter cause I’m packing plastic
and that’s what makes my life so f***ing fantastic

And I am a weapon of massive consumption
and its not my fault it’s how I’m program to function
I’ll look at the sun and I’ll look in the mirror
I’m on the right track yeah I’m on to a winner

I don’t know what’s right and what’s real anymore
I don’t know how I’m meant to feel anymore
When we think it will all become clear
‘Cuz I’m being taken over by The Fear

Bridge
Forget about guns and forget ammunition
Cause I’m killing them all on my own little mission
Now I’m not a saint but I’m not a sinner
Now everything is cool as long as I’m getting thinner

I don’t know what’s right and what’s real anymore
I don’t know how I’m meant to feel anymore
When we think it will all become clear
‘Cause I’m being taken over by fear

I was so curious about her take on some of what's happening in our Western culture/generation that I went to you-tube to check out her film clip.

I think it's brilliantly done. In the opening scene everything (even though it's as simple as some plastic chairs, a caravan, some underwear and a teddy bear on a clothes line) is still accessible - it's real and life size so you can get your hands on it to use and enjoy. But as she moves into the castle that is ornately decorated and has others at her beck and call (whom she barely acknowledges) everything that you could 'want' becomes more remote and less available. There's the vanity mirror that she stares into blankly while products go unused; children's toys that wont have any little ones scratching them (or her life) up as they play; cupcakes that will never get savoured to keep her thin; gifts of consumption that are not being opened and only take up more space (interestingly the only time that she seems to smile in the clip is when she's pushing the consumerables out of her way); and towards the end as she walks out of the castle you're struck by how alone she is (as is her precious building filled with goodies).

No one interacting, no one enjoying all of the delights that are on offer because she's constantly moving on to the next part of the house or 'thing'.

What do you think? Are we/the world really that superficial? Do we care more about film stars and less about mothers? Are our lives more or less enjoyable when they're filled with plastic? What "mission" are you on?

O week shenanigans...

2009-02-19T22:26:00.001+11:00

It has been an incredible couple of days with Credo and around UTS. This is usually the time of year that the staff refer to as 'sprint time' in the marathon of the year. There will always be times in a marathon that you need to push a little harder and a little faster - where everything seems to be in a bit of a blur but it's vital to keep our eyes on the goal! Hopefully that might give you a little idea of the last few weeks.

Many of you would know about staff/student retreats that we've been on in the last month and much of that time away has been focused on planning for what we've been doing on campus in the last 48 hrs. For those without a uni background, it has been "Orientation" /O Day for the first years students at UTS where the main tower has been awash with a lot of stalls from various student groups/societies or companies that want to get the students business.

Each year we wonder how many contacts we'll get - which first years will either stumble upon our stall or (more encouragingly!) seek us out and give us their contact details to follow up. Last year we had 85 contacts (which we were excited by) and this year we were praying for 100. So it was with a little trepidation that I walked onto campus for O Day (on Thursday) with the rain coming down. In my cynicism I was pretty sure that it would mean that less people would turn up and therefore less contacts for us... oh the folly of under-estimating how much God wants to answer our prayers! We has an unprecedented 125 students give us their contact details because they're either interested in knowing more about Credo or want to join a small bible study group.

One of the ways that we made some contacts, and made some 1st years feel welcomed was to run the "Credo Cafe" for the first time where people could come and grab a (rather expertly made) coffee and some baked goodies and just chat with people. It was a huge hit and most of the comments that I heard from strangers were along the lines of "this is so nice!" or "I'm surprised that people do this sort of thing". It was great to see that many newcomers felt welcomed enough to hang around long after they'd gotten their free coffee and were able to ask questions of the Credoites who were there and happy to chat.

As Paul reminded us last night, it is of course no coincidence (nor should I have been surprised) that O Day was such a success and that we had so many contacts this year because for the first time this year we had a constant day of prayer. Just near Credo 'Base Camp' (where we did a whole lot of admin etc) there was a room that we set aside and had a roster so that, literally, from 830am - 5pm the was continuous prayer for new students, new contacts, thinking about the Credo community as a whole, praying for individual names as we were given them as well as praying for the faculty networks that they would grow together as a group but also that they would be outward focused in their relationships. Thanks to all of you who were praying for us as well.

Out of everything though, one of the thing that excited me so much was seeing the ownership that the Credoites were taking throughout the day as they worked so hard, but with so much energy and delight in what they were doing in their various jobs. It was so encouraging to see their passion for connecting with and reaching out to new people and for the opportunities that they took to just walk up to complete strangers and just start talking to them; whether it was about campus, credo or Christ.

If yesterday was about contacts and meeting people, then today was all about thinking about how to care for them as we love each other as a body. As I mentioned in my last post I've been thinking through, and this morning spoke from 1 Cor 12:12-27 to look at how this shapes how we are to be treating and looking out for one another. As I did some reflecting (and as others helped me with some of their ideas!) it occurred to me that the Corinthian world is much like our facebook world of today. What matters in facebook world is how others see me, who has the best profile pic, do i have more friends than them, can I join that group... etc etc - and although facebook can feel like a community at times, it's really a false one because there's very little accountability (I can even stop being 'friends' with someone without their knowledge!). The world believes in community as long as it is convenient – we believe in community in a way that reflects our commitment to Christ and to each other.

What Paul tells the Corinthians, and us, is that we need to be completely counter cultural and to see the 'weaker' as worthy of more honour/attention and to cultivate and encourage the different roles, gifts and abilities that we have because we all need one another. Paul uses a lot of 'body' imagery and speaks about how a body is supposed to function. It struck a cord with me because of my addiction to the "Biggest Loser" TV show. Here you see people competing to lose weight because although their bodies are technically 'functioning' they're not necessarily healthy and their definitely not thriving. As one of the trainers, Shannan, said in the first episode here are a group of people who are broken, physically, emotionally and spiritually and who need to be rebuilt from the inside out. Its exactly the same for us as a community and it's the radical nature of the love that Paul describes in 1 Cor 13 that is going to help us do it. Well, that, the Spirit and God! (1 Cor 12:7, 24-25).

I don't know what this year has in store for us on campus - no one but God does. And yet I feel like we're starting on a great track because our goal is to be transformed and renewed by the radical love that Christ enable us to have for one another. And that's something to be pretty darn optimistic about isn't it?

let lips be lips (they're very handy for eating)

2009-02-16T19:49:00.003+11:00

I admit it, I have a problem. For about 6 hours a day, my brain is wrestling with one particular topic - something that sustains me, keeps me in wonder, delight and perplexity as I ponder the problem of what will I eat next? I simply love food in a way that borderlines on a bit of a fetish (so it's probably a good thing that my love for exercise is also growing).

In particular at the moment I'm delving into the world of blue cheese and so was quite happy when Dad told me he'd like a cheese and fruit platter as a part of his 60th birthday dinner tomorrow night. It gave me the perfect opportunity to wander into a deli and say 'yes' when the charming old Italian man asked if I'd care to try any as I made my selection.

Oh the tantalising tension of trying out a favourite combination! Does quince paste go better with the stilton, blue or bring out a softness in a vintage cheddar? Should you nibble on a dried apricot before or after your favourite tipple to bring out the best flavour? Should the grapes be in a separate bowl or does their fresh green-ness come out best when artfully scattered bunches are placed between the cheeses, apricots, tamarind almonds and occasional celebratory piece of dark chocolate?

As I ponder these questions (and have my salmon marinading in a delightful blend of fresh ginger, corriandar, lemon grass, soy and the barest hint of paprika) I'm also thinking through 1 Cor's 12:14-20. Can you imagine the scene at my banquet if the parts of the body tried to subvert their roles? What if the eye demanded that the blue vein was rubbed into it instead of being able to see the rainbow of colours? Or if the ear suddenly wanted some quince paste rubbed in it for good measure, instead of being able to hear the joyful noises of smacking lips? Or if the nose wanted a couple of grapes shoved up the nostrils for good measure (interestingly most creatures, esp dogs don't eat when they have a cold because the sense of smell is so closely linked to appetite)? Oh the tragedy because nothing would get eaten!

It's ludicrous isn't it - and yet how often do we try and do that in simpler ways? Do we feel that something is our right, that we should be involved or doing something rather than that other person? Do we encourage and delight in the differences between one another so that the whole body is working well and supporting each other?

2009-02-11T18:06:00.000+11:00

I simply cannot imagine living in an inferno for 4 days.

I can't imagine walking past burnt out wrecks of cars, knowing that people perished in them.

I can't imagine having to hold someone in a pool for 36 hours while fires raged around - to see them come out of it with no lips or hands

I can't answer the question of why one persons home is destroyed while another remains untouched.

I wont pretend to comprehend the grief of someone who is waiting to be told the fate of a loved one, one of the 100 or so, who is still missing

I applaud, praise and am humbled by the heroism shown by so many volunteers - who have served others in the midst of their own pain and grief

300 (300???) is what the government is now predicting might be the death toll - started at the hands of arsonists. Justice can not be brought too swiftly in my mind. But in this sort of suffering, who can judge what will be justice?

As I sit in the comfort of my living room, far away from Victoria and the 27 fires that are still burning it's all to easy to feel removed - but perhaps that is the numbness that comes from the shock of the images that we're seeing on our TV's or the agony in the voices of those who are telling their stories on the radio.

maranatha

Can you hear His voice?

2009-01-20T20:33:00.000+11:00

Argh - Christmas and New Years have been and gone and I'm sad to say that all of my best made plans for reading through all those books sort of fell by the wayside in a lovely and relaxing summer break. Most of the time was spent with family and friends (pictured here with my too cute niece at Christmas - and for those who care my hair is now cut as short as her's!) and revolved around the complex routine of getting up, going to the gym, selecting a friend to have breakfast with and then coming back and lying by my pool or going to the beach. Yep, life is tough sometimes.

But I did get through some of the books and one of them has been Walking With God by John Eldredge. Although there were a few things that I was left questioning, and sometimes just downright disagreeing with (especially towards the second half and end of the book) in the opening chapters I came across a section that I thought might spark some interest. It interested me because lately it's a topic that I've been thinking through, because of things that I've been challenged by and as I try to discern some areas and directions that He might be guiding me towards. Here goes:

Now, I know, I know - the prevailing beliefe is that God speaks to His people only through the Bible. And let me make this clear: He does speak to us first and foremost through the Bible. That is the basis for our relationship. The Bible is the eternal and unchanging Word of God to us. It is such a gift, to have right there in black and white God's thoughts towards us. We know right off the bat that any other supposed revelation from God that contradicts the bible is not to be trusted. So I am not minimising in any way the authority of the Scripture or the fact that God speaks to us through the Bible.
However, many Christians believe that God only speaks to us through the Bible.
The irony of that beliefe is that's not what the bible says.
The bible is filled with stories of God talking to His people (Abraham Gen 24:7, Moses Ex 33:11, Aaron Ex 6:13, David 2 Sam 2:1, Noah, Samuel, Gideon...)
I can hear the objections even now: "But that was different. Those were special people called to special tasks." And we are not special people called to special tasks? I refuse to believe that. And I doubt that you want to believe it either, in your hearts of hearts...
Now, if God doesn't also speak to us, why would He have given us all these stories of Him speaking to others? "Look - here are hundreds of inspiring and hopeful stories about how God spoke to His people in this and that situation. Isn't it amazing? But you can't have that. He doesn't speak like that anymore." That makes no sense at all. Why would God give you a book of exceptions? This is how I used to relate to my people but I don't do that anymore. What good would a book of exceptions do you?
... No, the Bible is a book of examples of what it looks like to walk with God. To say that He doesn't offer that to us is disheartening. It is also unbiblical. The Bible says that we hear Gods voice:

He wakes me morning by morning, wakens my ear to listen like one being taught (Is 50:4)
For He is our God and we are he people of His pasture, the flock of His care (Ps 95:7)
Today if you hear His voice do not harden your hearts (Ps 95:7-8)
John 10:2-4, 14-16

...An intimate, conversational walk with God is available. Is normal even. Or, at least, it is meant to be normal. I'm well aware that the majority of people do not enjoy that... yet. But it is certainly what God desires and what He offers. My assumption is based on the nature of God and the nature of man made in His image. We are communicators. My assumption is also based on the nature of relationship - it also requires communication. It is based on the long record of God speaking to His people of various tasks in all sorts of situations.
And finally, it is based on the teachings of Jesus, who tells us that we hear His voice.
p's 13-18

How does this fit in with your understanding of the character of God and your reading of Scripture?

For now I'll leave you with an experience of my own. It was a few years ago now and I was with a team of students at a local church doing some things with them after NTE. It had been a long week, I was tired, certainly grumpy and seriously doubting myself and my own 'abilities' in ministry and whether I should be doing what I was/am. I was feeling the weight of my own sinful impatience with things and certainly didn't want to be up the front of the gathering leading the service but at the last minute I had to fill in for someone and do it. At the end of the service I had no less than 6 people come up to me and say something along the lines of "Thanks for doing that, we were really encouraged, you're obviously where God wants you to be..."

In the confused mindset that I was in I thought to myself "God, perhaps you're trying to speak to me through these people. I'm going to just sit outside and pray for a bit to discern if you're using these people to communicate with me."

On my way outside though I noticed a member of the church, Malcolm, was just sitting on his own. Now, what you need to understand is that Malcolm is in a wheelchair with quite severe physical and mental handicaps. His communication throughout the week was limited and stilted at best. But as I was walking outside I thought "Well, I can't just leave Malcolm sitting there on his own - I'll pray later" and sat down with him. Within a minute or two of a few words Malcolm turned to me and in the clearest voice I'd heard him use all week said "Isn't it great how God uses others to speak to us sometimes?".

It was, to say the least, unnerving and I still get goose bumps when I think about it. I've had other experiences similar to this one recently - things that cannot be explained away as 'random' or 'coincidences' which is what my sometimes cynical mind would like to do.

But you tell me - what does it say about the character of our God that He deigned, with all of His love and sovereignty, to communicate with us, His little creatures, in such a way?

Summer reading

2008-12-23T22:54:00.002+11:00

I must confess, I'm a bit of a lazy thinker sometimes. It hasn't always been that way because as a kid I would love to squirrel away with a book but these days I'm usually keener to chill out in front of the TV at the end of a long day. But I've been a bit convicted lately about the things that I fill my mind with so this wont be the laziest summer ever.

So I have about a gazillion books that I've been planning to read all year so here's the list for the next couple of months to hopefully challenge, inform and inspire me for 2009. Good thing I'm a fast reader and I've been able to get through a couple already.

Post SPRTE and listening to and speaking with Lindsay in person, I sort of felt compelled to read this one first... and it's brilliant! If you haven't read it, check this out to get an over-view.

If you have read it, then why not drop a line in the comments and share what encouraged and challenged you the most?

One of the other books that I read last week was The Relationships Revolution which had some challenges that I liked so much I thought I'd share chunks of them with you:

The challenge that faces the church is to be the community that God has called us to be. Hypocrisy and selfishness too readily characterise our life together and our relationships. Too many churches seem to value families over single people, children over the elderly, people who fit in and are easy to get along with over the marginalised and distressed. The subtle tones and harmonies that make up the music of Gods community are muted by every act of thoughtlessness and selfishness. Too many people have come into our churches and have not been welcomed, included or valued. The key question that faces all of us in our church involvement and relationships is whether we are going to be a part of the problem or a part of the solution. It is far easier to point out what is wrong, and to complain from the sidelines, than to work for positive change wherever we have the opportunity. The tragedy is not just that we fall short of God's standards, but that we accept and perpetuate this state of affairs so uncritically.

and

The history of the church is the story of a revolution, starting with a small group of ordinary people, and turning the world upside down. Christians should be the most radical people on the planet! Today, society desperately needs revolutionaries who will take a stand against its norms, who will sacrifice all in the service of their Lord and of the people around them. The cost of the battle is great; hardship is unavoidable. Yet when people's eternal destiny is at stake, to remain silent is betrayal. To walk the path of indifference or self-satisfaction is not to follow in the footsteps of Christ.

Out from under the Bridge

2008-12-15T00:14:00.001+11:00

Physically or metaphorically? How do you feel about coming out from under a bridge... out from under it's theoretical shelter, comfort and protection? What if the bridge is just your comfort zone and it's time to peek out from under the arches?

In the week post the SPRTE conference I took a group of 15 Credoites to Kirribilli's Church By the Bridge for a week of doing some community outreach - partnering with the local church to reach out and let locals know, if they didn't already, that the church is there and some of the things that it does.

If you don't know Kirribilli, it's a suburb of contrasts. One stat I heard was that (a few years ago anyway) Kirribilli had the highest number of PhD holders per capita in the world (???!!!) and at the same time it's home to the government housing project/commission, Greenway. As the week went on, the question that kept rolling around in my mind was "how can we live in this city where the wealthy and poor live side by side and never cross paths?". In fact, they seem to avoid each other.

Why are we scared of people who are different?

Why is it that the wealthiest and most educated of our society are usually the least aware of their needs and abilities to look after others?

The highlight for the week for me was sitting down over a couple of meals with some of the people who live at Greenway and learning from them and their lives. They have day to day lives that are obviously different from mine, and probably from yours too. And yet their was a genuineness to them and our conversations that came a lot faster than your average after-church-supper-with-cordial-and-biscuts.

As a team we read over the book of James for the week so that the bible would inform or shape our week together. Read over James 2 for yourself. What do you need to change?

What do you get when you put a kiwi, a scot, a pom and an aussie in the same room?

2008-12-05T23:19:00.000+11:00

Sounds like a joke doesn't it? Well it could be but in this case it's just the start of a group of people having fun.

These are some of the people that I was blessed to spend the better part of a week with while on SPRTE. I had breakfast with them today in Coogee at one of my favourite cafes, Barzuras to close off a 'sweet as' week. I said my own little goodbyes, but I wanted to send them a letter - and similar to the ones that we get to see in Scripture, I thought I would make it public so that others can get a glimpse of their ministry too.

Here goes:

Dear TSCF'ers

What can I say, I am a sentimental girl who can better put my words on paper than I can often do in person. So here are my words to you - as public as they may be!

I feel so blessed that you guys were on SPRTE - it may sound egotistical but perhaps God knew that I would need to get to know some new brothers and sisters to push, nudge and nurture me along the way of navigating an intense week. Having said that, I also think that perhaps I might not have been so challenged if you hadn't been there! Talk about impact and pushing people out of their comfort zones - if you guys can speak this much into my life in one week, then I'm looking forward to getting to Heaven and seeing how He has used you guys in the lives of people that you get to minister to, and with, regularly.

They are blessed. Your love for each other and your true delight in your ministries has been a breath of fresh air. New Zealand is lucky to have you. Your passion for the gospel, humility, generosity and (dare I say it?) tender strength will serve the students of NZ, not to mention the Kingdom in ways that I'm sure none of us can yet imagine.

Val, I'd love to follow you around for a week and see what delightful havoc and gentle compassion you offer to the girls and the campuses that you work with -it's so great to see a Godly woman with such strength, passion and conviction. Thanks for being another chick to hang out with - I don't think I have ever laughed so much on a conference... if it ever comes up, rest assured I'll be blaming you for getting busted by a student and Yando... least it wasn't in the same night! :)

Ben - why do I get the impression that you're a rock that many can lean and depend on for all sorts of reasons? Thanks for your honesty in sharing your own journey so far and your words of encouragement to take up new opportunities. Let's make sure that you get back over here next year because I look forward to seeing and learning from your evangelism in action.

Nigel. Nigel.... where to start? There's a big chunk of me that wished you stopped preaching 10 mins before you did the other night so that I wouldn't be in the uncomfortable place that I now am - but where's the fun in that eh? I wont forget your words. The coastline is getting further away...

I refuse to say goodbye to any of you. See you soon - and speak sooner

With much love
x j.

Watershed weeks

2008-12-04T16:38:00.001+11:00

Sometimes you have a week that impacts you a little more than others. Sometimes, you wishes you could go back in time, realise what the impact will be and start to interact with it a little more intentionally. And then you realise that we can't take the time back, but we can always look forward to how God is going to use it. A chat with Nigel (one of the conference speakers) helped me to realise that it has been a watershed week - a critical point that marks a division or a change of course... a turning point that cannot help but forever change you...

But I'm getting a little ahead of my self aren't I?

We have been at the South Pacific Regional Training Event (SPRTE formally NTE) in Canberra this week with brothers and sisters from around Australia, New Zealand, Fiji, PNG and Vanuatu coming together to look at what the bible has to say about the "Cross and Culture" and (hopefully) spend some time learning from one another about what God has been doing in our lives and our countries. If you get the chance to head over to the AFES website you should be able to access the talks by the end of the week (if you were there) or will be able to purchase them sometime soon for those who couldn't make it. It's well worth it, esp to hear from one of our main speakers, Lindsay Brown as he shared with us about some of the ways that he has seen God working throughout the world. It was... breath-taking... and incredibly humbling to think about how much we take for granted here in Australia.

I think one of the greatest challenges for both Christians and non Christians in Australia is what I like to call apathetic individualism. Either because we are hardened or calloused to the suffering of the rest of the world, or because we just don't care, as a nation we are generally more concerned with seeking out the 'easiest' or most comfortable life. And I see that the areas in which we are least apathetic is the ones that concern us. How does this affect me? What will change for me? What will I get out of it?

And yet when I heard of the sacrifices that our brothers and sisters make across the world for their beliefs I am challenged, rebuked, inspired and refreshed.

How could we not be refreshed after a week with pacific island brothers and sisters? I've never been so warmly welcomed (not to mentioned hugged!) by people who I've just met. Their warmth, passion and enthusiasm (for the gospel and each other) was infectious and I was blessed to learn much from them. I'm jealous of the teams that get to have our pacific friends on their teams for the next week - the Aussies will have much to learn! There was a particular group that I spent more time with too, but I'm going to write a separate post to and for them once they've left the country so that I'm not too soppily sentimental!

As for me - well I'm pretty feeling pretty physically, emotionally and spiritually bashed around the head. It's been a long and surprising week. Some new opportunities in ministry have come up for me to pray about so it'll be interesting to see how and where God moves me over the next little while. All I know is that I have been moved. On the last night of the conference, Nigel offered up a call for all those who had been challenged to re-commit their lives to Christ, to serving God, to the mission of changing the world for His glory to stand. With tears streaming down my face I had no choice but to stand really. There was a second where I thought "Oh no, what will people think of me if I stand up? Will they think I'm just renewing my faith? Will they question the validity of my ministry that has been?".

But really, who cares? In a moment that is between you and God - what matters what others think? In that moment all I knew is that I was re-committed to being a part of His global mission and that my heart was so filled with the gratitude of all that Jesus has done for us that I was about to bounce off the walls with joy and a little trepidation about what the future may hold.

The next week will see me with a team of students at Church By the Bridge working alongside the team their to reach out to the very diverse community of Kirribilli. There's 16 of us - and I'm very thankful that we get a couple of days off now to rest up!

Wanted - A life less ordinary (part two... somewhere down the road on the quest)

2008-10-24T18:50:00.003+11:00

Have you ever noticed, that in times when you perhaps have the most to say - be they questions, exclamations, desires or whatever - that this is often the time when you least have the words to help you express yourself? Proverbs 17:28 tells us that

Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent, and discerning if he holds his tongue

and since I have had much cause to pray for wisdom in the last few months, silence seemed like the best solution so that my troubles or questions didn't invade this blog, or other people too much.

Just to give you a quick summary the last few months have been mmm.... interesting/challenging/confronting/exhausting (take your pick really) with some of the harder moments seeing people I love either getting very sick or dying (most notably for anyone whose been around for a while was my much loved Pop/Grandfather) or the painful question of thinking through where my ministry has value and to who it should/could impact. Considering all of these things came in the space of about 6 weeks... lets just say I needed a lot of time to process especially in light of our time in the Gulf. All I'm going to say is that God has brought me through it - and like other times of massive testing He has refined me and so I'm thankful.

So - why blog again now? Well, it's because the other night at the Passion event I realised that I still have the same questions, and am on the same quest as the last post - a life less ordinary... so I thought I'd share - oh, that and there has still been the odd pesterer :)

Don't get me wrong. I don't think that I live a particularly ordinary life - but I also wouldn't be calling it extraordinary at the moment. Perhaps because I, like so many other Christians, can get set in the comfortable mediocrity that the world wants us to settle for. Time dulls the glow of passion and little by little extinguishes the flame of a Spirit that wants to burn so brightly that it is a beacon, to a city on a hill for any who would seek refuge...

So here is the question that I've been asking a number of people lately - what do you/must you change in your life, today, to make tomorrow extraordinary for Jesus? For me, I think the biggest ones would be bold prayers (knowing that God actually wants to say 'yes!' to the ones that will bring Him glory and make me holy as He wants me to be) and working out ways to keep investing in people where they're at (whether they're Christians or not) so that I can be genuinely and consistently loving them.

In the last 24hrs I have had a couple of amazing conversation with some wonderful women. Asking, and challenging each other as to why we don't spend more time talking about Jesus - reminding each other that the bible says, very clearly, that we are to spur one another on to love and goods deeds... doesn't this by implication command us to actually be speaking to each other about the one who makes this possible?

At Credo we've been studying the book of Hebrews for this semester and through it all I've been reminding our student leaders of the same simple, beautiful sentence that my youth group bible study leader told me sums up this book: Jesus is better, so don't give up! It's been great to read through with students (and our CCSI bible-study for that matter) and remember that when things get hard, and we get tempted to forget the truth, or go down the past of least resistance... Jesus is still, and will always be, better than anything we could ever imagine or settle for.

Ok - that's enough of a start back. I'm off to indulge in two of my loves, friends and food

Bisous

Wanted - A life less ordinary

2008-07-29T21:58:00.001+10:00

In the last week, while the team was doing some r'n'r after the last month (yes yes I will post about that sometime later too) we went to see the movie "wanted" with Jolie, Freeman and Mcavoy. Like it or hate it, it's a movie that gets you thinking (once you get past the bizarre plot and random violence that is) and in the last month I've been doing a lot of thinking - so this is just to get the ball rolling for you if you've been taking a break from engaging with yourself and the world we're in.

I wouldn't normally put profanity on this blog but I'm (sort of) making an exception to give you the last line of the movie where one character states:

"This is me, taking back control of my life. What the f*** have you done lately"?

I gotta say, I LOVED this line. It's such a powerful question isn't it?

What have you done?

What have I done?

Do you even have any chance of taking control of your life and is it even your life to have control over?

For the last month and a bit I have often felt so out of my depth, so out of control that it's been a question that's played over and over in my mind long before someone else voiced it for me. And now, as I sit back in the comfort of my own home it feels so much easier to avoid the questions than have to confront them and find the answers to them.

Have you influenced the world you're in or just experienced it? When and to whom do you make a difference?

This isn't the week for me to answer all of these questions, but it's been a good week to have off and think through some of these things. And sleep. Sleep, sleep, sleep...

2008-07-15T05:56:00.003+10:00

I like this place, but I’m starting to feel like the freak at the show that people stare at without caring. It seems that pretty much everywhere we go people feel free to have a little gawk. So for this reason, the girls have come up with the little phrase of ‘stupid white people’ (ie us) whenever we do something silly that deserves the odd looks. Some examples of this could be; driving the wrong way down the road (I’m happy to say that wasn’t me but any time yankee doodle cos apparently [imagine the drawl, we got all day ‘round here), me telling the checker at the supermarket that “I don’t want a book” (should’ve been bag…der…) or stalling a jeep in the middle of an intersection (ok, so maybe that was me…).

Let me run you through a bit of how our days are playing out at the moment. Around 9.30/10 we head over to an organisation known as the ‘Environmental Friends Society’ (also seen here stuffing us with food on our first day there) and help them with some translation, design, data files and a website to try and help them in spreading their message of how important it is to take care of the resources that God has given us. This country has lost most of it’s natural greenery in the space of just ten years and they don’t seem to understand the concept of recycling so there’s trash piles all around and all of the water comes from de-salination plants (mental note, always go for the bottled water). But it could be worse of course, the guys currently have the chlorinated water from the pool upstairs running through their pipes to shower and wash with.

The rest of the team started teaching English in a village last week but because I was sick I had to wait until yesterday to start my first class in a village that’s about half an hour away from where we live (but then again everything in this place seems to be about half an hour away). There are 15 girls in my class and they are adorable – I’ll try and take some pictures later on in the week but most women here seem quite reluctant to have their photo taken so I’ll wait until they feel a little bit more comfortable with “Teacher”… apparently when you have a role with a little authority you loose your name and go with a title. I’m surprised at how much I’m enjoying teaching English actually but in the past week or so we’ve found that it’s a great way for opening up relationships and sharing a little (a very little) of who you are. Girls here usually get married (to a cousin) by the ages of 17 or 18 so they can’t understand how I’m not married and don’t have 11 children (that’s the average number of siblings that the girls in my class have – some go up to 20 but that’s do-able when the men can have four wives right?). Anyway, it meant that I was able to share with them my belief of only marrying another Christian, which opened up a couple of avenues for discussion.

So in an effort to keep showing a few pic’s of places we’ve been going to or hanging out in, here’s a shot of my favourite café here.

It’s in a small back street in one of the funkier areas of town (can’t you tell by the bright green walls?) called Café Laviano – sounds Italian, looks Polynesian on the inside and serves the freshest mix of Arabic and Mediterranean food in the country… go figure.

One week through

2008-07-05T23:10:00.004+10:00

Ever wondered if a whole country could change it's mood over a couple of days? This one can. On Wednesday night a whole lot of people (mostly men) come here for the weekend (remember that church is on Fridays and ppl go back to work on Sunday - weird I know) for a 'good' time of money, alcohol and sex...

As the guys went off to a mass village wedding (our turn is next week) we decided to have a bit of a girly night with some pampering and then a wander around the mall (I know I know, trust me, we are doing mission stuff too!). It was amazing to see how the women around here seemed to change over night. The mall is the place to see and been seen, and the women were definitely out on parade. I'm not quite sure how it fits in with their religious/cultural beliefs to have an abiya that's only buttoned under the bust line to reveal cleavage under a bright red top... but apparently some can get away with it. Although I've only worn the proper abiya and hijab when we went to the mosque - there was a part of me that was longing for the anonymity of it that night. Alex I take it back, these men just stare, a lot, just without making any comments. Although I haven't had to tell anyone yet that I'm worth more than two camels (pictured here because we did actually go and meet the Kings camels - turns out their worth a fair chunk of change each...) I get the feeling it wouldn't be too far off if I walked around on my own (mental note, stay in groups).

Speaking of the mall, we've been able to spend some time there meeting and talking with locals about who we are and what the differences are in our cultures and religious beliefs. I made a friend within my first couple of days here, named 'N', and she asked if she could give me her mobile number so that we could keep talking. We meet up for coffee and desert the other night to keep talking and she wants to keep talking throughout the rest of the month that we're here for which I think is pretty damn cool...

As a team, we finished off the centre we've been working on and I started crying (typical) when we got to take my favourite little friend into the room and let him be the first to see it. He can't speak much but it was very clear and obvious that he couldn't believe that anyone would think that he was worthwhile of such little efforts on our behalf... we had some amazing opportunities talking with the staff of the centre about why we are here. Truth be told, I don't care if these kids never really comprehend all that has been done and said by us over the last week. The God I know, is good, and just and a loving Father and my only prayer is that one day they will know that.

All round - it's been a pretty great first week. We have been stunned and humbled by the generosity of the people who are hosting us - every night someone has either taken us out for dinner or brought food to us, they've lent us two cars and we (Rachel and I) are staying with the loveliest hosts.

Two superficial lessons that I've learnt this week?

1) you can get flu like symptoms no matter what climate you're in - thanks to Rachel getting sick on the plane and having some massive temperature shifts I've got some kind of cold... the good news is you stand outside for more than 30 seconds and you have your own little sauna

2) keep a bottle or two of water in the car for when the radiator quickly runs our of water - I learnt that one yesterday when the temp gauge spiked, the cold air turn hot and water was spitting out of the hood... apparently you need to stay on top of these things in 50+ heat???

Ice-cream, banana, sister, father, slap and beat you…

2008-07-02T06:11:00.006+10:00

You’ve got to know that it’s a pretty screwed up world when you realise that these are the only words that an 8 year old autistic boy can say. Actually I have another couple of choice words for it too, but I wont repeat them.

We are in a land of many strange contradictions. I have met local people who are so warm and friendly and engaging (by far the majority) and those who seem distant and suspicious. There are extremes of wealth and poverty, masses of land with big bodies of water and football fields of sand… in the last few days we’ve covered quite a few of them.

The heat was obviously one of the first things that strike's you. On the night that I arrived, and when I went back to the airport to meet the team, it was 37 degrees at 2am. You get used to it but it can be oppressive and we understand why, as off today, it’s illegal to work outside between the hours of 12-4pm. People die. So it’s meant that we’ve needed to be productive when we set to work! For our first week, we’ve been working in a centre for special needs children. It has no government funding (although we did meet a Princess when she came to see what we’re up to!) and so it’s pretty run down so we’ve been doing some outdoor repairs and working on a sensory room – particularly to try and stimulate the senses of the kids who are limited with sight, sound or touch.

As we’ve sat in a padded room (literally, it depressed the hell outta me) cutting out stars I asked the team how is this ministry? The answer is simple that we’re trying to show these kids that someone loves them. Someone cares about them. As I’ve wandered around the rooms that they sit in (pretty much alone with minimal adult supervision) I’ve been praying that somehow they might realise, in however many years it takes them, that Jesus loves them enough to send us. From what our little 8 year old friend indicated, there isn’t too much love in their lives. Today as I drove away I just wept for the broken-ness of it.

We have been blessed with some amazing hosts from the international church here. They have been so generous and encouraging – many of them have lived here for years and so as we’ve gone to their homes for dinner each night it’s been great to hear their stories and learn from their experiences. Most work with international companies and so they're mixing with locals’ everyday and have learnt much about the Islamic culture.

This afternoon we took a drive through one of the poorer areas of the land. There are some photos that I'll dot along the way of this post but they’re a little grainy because they had to be taken a little covertly through the car window – locals can be touchy about pictures.

A big thing for locals is dreams and stories. So I’ll tell you a story – a few days ago I was walking through a mall searching for some shoes and coffee other than starbucks. In an effort to practice my Arabic I walked up to a woman and asked for directions to a good coffee place. God must have sent me to the right woman. She was walking in that direction and so said that she would walk with me. We chatted about all sorts of things covering countries and their differences, clothing, shoes and marriage to Muslim or Christian men. At the end of our wander, she turned and asked me if she could give me her phone number. It turns out that her husband is overseas and her two teenage sons seem to have left for summer and so she is lonely. She said that she felt a ‘connection’ with me and so now I get to meet with her again and talk some more.

Since then, I’ve been praying that God might revel Himself to her in a dream. Unlike for most of us, dreams are very powerful to these people and there have been some stories that I’ve heard that God has used dreams (dreams of bread that doesn’t finish but will feed a whole family) to bring people to know Jesus.

There are a couple of things I’ve noticed about the culture and environment here:

o Men walk down the street holding hands or with their arms around each other.

o There are times that I’m still stunned when someone (who’s giving me directions when I drive) says, “Head towards…” (a country that is just bizarre for me to be heading towards!!!)

o It can be important to factor in sand and dust storms into your day – over the last few days the sky has gone from blueish (when I first arrived) to what is now best described as a sort of beige colour.

o Never look at men in the eye (it’s hard because I feel rude – and by the way girls, then Frenchmen are way worse than the men I’ve encountered here)

o Always, always, always take a map in the car with you – even if you find you come across towns or streets that wont be in the map. In a fit of desperation (after being lost one night driving for an hour and a half) I called my parents and am having my beloved GPS being sent over

o When driving in an Arab country, feel free to think of the signs (indicating driving laws) more as suggestions for you to consider whether it comes to speed, crossing three lanes of traffic without stopping or indicating or driving the wrong way into two lanes of oncoming traffic. If you don’t like that the lights have the stop sign flashing, apparently you can feel free to drive on the footpath instead…

I am exhausted and there have been times that I’ve longed for the hug from someone familiar but I’m so happy to finally be here. Will write again soon (and well done btw if you’ve made it all the way through the last couple of marathon posts – I’ll try and be more regular and in smaller doses now that I’m settled in one place)

xxx
j.

2008-06-24T16:48:00.004+10:00

22nd June

Last night I fell in love with Nice.

As I said in an earlier post – I have been having a great time here but last night was something else all together. Alex and I had been hearing a whisper all day of the ‘night of music’, that was going to be happening that night and that it might be ‘fun’ to wander around town. Fun doesn’t cover it. It was Magical.

I’m presuming that, even in the south where the sun seems to come out to play a lot, the start of summer is a fairly big deal. Or so it would seem after last night because the whole night was in order to celebrate the first night of summer. Imagine, if you will, a street party where not only does everyone on the street come out but also a few others from the next block. Then imagine the whole city coming out. I missed being in Sydney for the Olympics – but from what I’ve heard maybe that’s the best comparison (only in my mind it’s actually probably better).

We started wandering at around six to head up to the old Château site (but Alex can tell you more about that) and get a great view of the city in the hours that happen before sunset (you know when all the colours seem to come out so much more vividly?). Making our way back down to the centre of town it was easy to see that the people were settling in for a big night with rows of night markets along the beach that were staying open until midnight and more and more live music popping up everywhere. After dinner (where Alex and I both had our first encounter with Escargot and she introduced me to Monaco beer which looks and tastes a little like creaming soda) we set off to see what else the town had in store.

It got better. And better. And better. And better… More bands kept cropping up ranging from grunge groups, middle age men and their families kicking back in a quite corner playing bongos and a couple of guitars, Brazilian street performers to an African drummer making a storm with a swirl of girls just spontaneously dancing around him. We saw one street of people dancing away outside a Lebanese restaurant and then another square of people next to yet another band. I listened to a Frenchman do a pretty great job of covering ‘Mr Jones’ and an average Frenchwoman covering (badly) Californication…

Two things that struck me on the night as well. Firstly how many young kids were out on their own without parents but just in their own little groups and secondly that we didn’t see -any drunk people. I mean not a single one over the course of six hours of wandering around. In Australia, especially by midnight, you’d see groups of D&D people all over the place, but not here. It was kind of bizarre but just really great seeing a whole city out and having a great time enjoying and celebrating. It felt innocent, easy and joyful. The start of summer if definitely the time to be here.

24th June

The time to saying goodbye to France is getting closer. I’m now in Alex’s hometown of Reims and it’s such a nice place! Apparently it used to be the capital of France and it now most know for it’s Cathedral where most of Frances Kings where crowned and where Joan of Arc came with the rescued Dauphin (I forget which one) to make sure he was crowned. The Cathedral itself is pretty breathtaking (just look at all the detail!) and you can see it from most places in the town area.

It’s nice to be here just to see where Alex lives and get to meet some of here friends from here over dinner last night (and yes Tim, you are being picky so just for you, perhaps more so for me, desert last night was lavender crème brule mmmmm). This afternoon we’re off to the Mumm Champagne house (Reims is also known for being the Champagne capital because of the region we’re in) and then sometime later I’ll be hopping back on a train to get back to Bethan's and Paris for one more day. Then in two days time (Thursday) I’ll be heading over to the Middle East until the end of July.

It’s all come around so incredibly fast!

2008-06-22T00:39:00.003+10:00

Let me set my mood for you – in Sydney I’m guessing that it’s a little cold and grey and that winter is in full swing. By stark contrast, I’m spending most of my days at the moment ‘swanning’ (according to some) around the French Riviera with balmy days and warm sunsets that have the soft scent of jasmine perfuming the air. Life. Is. Good.

But for all of it’s goodness there have been a few moments of confusion along the way. So, what’s a girl to do when she finds herself a little ‘lost in translation’ in a delightfully strange city? I can tell you – I now have the top 5 tips for a girls guide to Paris (and a little further a-field too).

1. I’ve discovered why it is that French women have the reputation for pouting so much. They’re just generally annoyed with the men. They’re not trying to be cute or get their way, they’re saying “bugger off you pervy old man”. Be prepared for the fact that French men stare, a lot (I think I’m getting prepared for standing out in the weeks to come). You can either feel constantly flattered (that wears off by the end of your first day) or just ignore it.
2. Feel free to eat just about any delicious thing that comes across your path. Bethan and I stopped by this market that has been touted by one tour guide as ‘for millionaires only’ and considering that the fruit had no price tag but looked phenomenal I could believe it. I’ve consumed any number of glaces, croissants and succulent meals throughout the last week and have delighted in each bite. Do not wimp out and just settle for food that you know – that’s boring and a waste of the opportunity to indulge with the French in their reputation for fine food. All this eating is ok because…
3. Find the stair-master at your local gym and go into training before hand for all of the walking and steps that you will encounter – so far I think I’ve managed to hike a little over 1500 steps and there’ll still be more to come (and as much as you may love them, also pack more shoes than havi’s to walk around in – as great as they are when you start out you will have blisters within a couple of days. However, once you have conquered whatever stairs you have challenging before you, I promise that the views will be worth it – here is one that we stumbled across at the top of the Sacre Cœur, the second highest point in Paris after the Eiffel tower (unless you’re a little nuts don’t try and climb that though – just bear with the que and take the lift)
4. Do your research and choose your accommodation wisely. After a delayed flight Alex and I got into Nice a little after 12pm only to have to wait half an hour before being picked up to go to the hostel I’d booked. Now, keep in mind that we’d organised to stay in a room for three and the write up had said that this was ‘the best hostel in Europe’… so you can image a little frustration on our behalf when at 1am we were plonked into a room that had 12 other occupants, was at least 25 degrees, smelt and was just above the reception and bar area. Having been assured that the price also balanced out because it was 20 mins from the centre of town, then perhaps you might image that there could be more chagrin when the next day we managed to find a 2 star hotel (in the middle of town) with a bed and bathroom for three. Needless to say we’d checked out within 18 hours and are now happily entertained by ‘Madame” (I have no other name for her) and her little white scotty dog ironically named ‘Onyx’. The fact that she charmingly mocks me because I exclaimed ‘puppy’ when I first saw him is besides the point – now I’m flattered that she chants ‘pouppie’ (just imagine the accent) whenever she sees me.
5. Expect the unexpected – as I type this the practice for the Tour de France (Paris to Nice in 9 days) is finishing up under the bedroom window of my room in Nice (actually that ones just for you Paddy). But in all seriousness be prepared to spend more hours than you’d expected either wandering around a market place, going up and down the Riviera or lingering over point 3, simply because you can.

I’m having a fabulous time. The weather is gorgeous and because the sun is different in Europe I have justified lying in the sun on the coast and swimming in the glorious turquoise Mediterranean waters (and I plan on doing the same tomorrow in a little town called Eze – those in the know would recognise the name because it’s most recent home-owners are Brangelina, just a stones throw from Bono and The Edge places...for a small place it packs it’s own celebrity punch).

The highlight though, without a glimmer of a doubt, has been spending time with some much loved, and much missed, girls from UTS. They are the reason I came and it’s been a blessing not only to be sharing this with them, but to be having some great conversations and finding out how their really going on their year over here.

The plan from here is that Alex and I will stick around until Sunday before we fly to Reims so that I can see where she lives (and enjoy some true Champagne) and meet some of her newest friends. After that I’ll be back in Paris with Bethan for a day or so and then back on another plane to head for the Gulf Region. Team, if you’re reading this too – I can’t wait to see you all and get stuck into all that we have planned and prayed for.

Hopefully (depending on how my internet access goes) I’ll load up some more photos on flickr for those who care to peruse and read some more anecdotes.

Bonne journée and au revoir
xxx

"Cos I'm leaving on a jet plane, don't know when I'll be back again..."

2008-06-12T20:29:00.002+10:00

Mmmm, not exactly true because I do know when I'll be back but the song and it's meaning will still translate. As off 5pm tomorrow afternoon I will be on a plane and very (very) ready to be out of Sydney for a while.

I think I need to clear up some confusions though. A number of people have presumed that I'm OS already but I am still in NSW - I've been on an AFES staff conference this week in Stanwell Tops. Although I'm still recovering (health wise) and I've been a little scatty because of all the last minute prep's, it has been a great week. Mostly just catching up with peers who are doing the same sorts of things all around the country, and it's been a great blessing to catch up with some of the girls and beat some of the boys at 500 (sorry, couldn't resist!).

Also - in terms of itinerary... yes I do actually fly to Paris first. Some much loved girls of 'mine' from UTS have been there for 6 months now so I feel very blessed that I've been able to use my frequent flyer points and head to France to spend some time with them - both one on one and in a small group as we head down to the south of France to do a bit of a retreat together. France has never been know for being the most hospitable for Christians, so I'm longing to see how they're doing and how we can mutually encourage each other. I'm sure there will be many pics and little stories over the next couple of weeks from over there (keep looking to the flickr site because I'll be putting more pics up there if you're interested in that sort of thing).

From there, I'm on another plane over to the Gulf region where the team will be meeting me as they fly in a few hours later.

It's almost hard to believe that 10 months of planning is just around the corner. Thanks for your prayers. I'll write more sometime soon.

So... how you feeling?

2008-06-03T17:25:00.000+10:00

Now ordinarily, this question asked often enough in a short space of time could indicate a poor emotional or physical state but those in the know would realise that this is more reflective of the fact that this time in just ten little days I will be on a plane headed off to France and the Middle East.

So, some emotive words to explain the current state: excited, anxious, tired, get-me-on-the-plane-now, anticipatory, shocked (that it's come around so quickly) vulnerable, stressed... get the picture?

The last couple of months have been a blur (hence the lack of posts - the is the last time I'll apologise to those who have been giving little digs about not posting enough!) with regular uni things, team meetings, trying to catch up with friends, church stuff, a few OS skype calls and me pouring over tour guides of Paris and the south of France. It's hard to believe that 8 months of planning are coming together and it's all just around the corner.

But lots of planning and running around seems to have taken a little toll on my health. The reason I can post in the afternoon is because I'm confined to my couch with bronchitis. I am officially all drugged up. So drugged up in fact that I seem to have become a little dozy-ish... today, for example? I was walking through the shops (slowly because let's face it I was just picking up some sort of breathing apparatus) I didn't notice that I had dropped an envelope until a sweet little old lady stopped me and called me back. Good thing she did too because that little envelope that I should have been paying attention too contained a couple of hundred euros and dollars... that would have ended in tears. Many, many, many tears.

Lesson for you all - when you see someone drop something let them know, it might be important.

I am not going soft, but sometimes I like these heartwarming stories, and this one truly is amazing...

2008-04-28T20:57:00.003+10:00

In 1986, Dan Harrison was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from Northwestern University

On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air. The elephant seemed distressed, so Dan approached it very carefully.

He got down on one knee and inspected the elephant's foot and found a large piece of wood deeply embedded in it.

As carefully and as gently as he could, Dan worked the wood out with his hunting knife, after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot.

The elephant turned to face the man, and with a rather curious look on its face, stared at him for several tense moments.

Dan stood frozen, thinking of nothing else but being trampled. Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned, and walked away.

Dan never forgot that elephant or the events of that day.

Twenty years later, Dan was walking through the Chicago Zoo with his teenaged son.

As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over to near where Dan and his son Dan Jr. were standing.

The large bull elephant stared at Dan, lifted its front foot off the ground, and then put it down. The elephant did that several times then trumpeted loudly, all the while staring at the man.

Remembering the encounter in 1986, Dan couldn't help wondering if this was the same elephant.

Dan summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing and made his way into the enclosure. He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder. The elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of Dan's legs and slammed him against the railing, killing him instantly.

Probably wasn't the same elephant.

Since when did Paramatta Rd become Portobello Rd?

2008-03-03T00:05:00.004+11:00

'Officeworks' is a haven. For me, it's an oasis of calm - a place of potential and endless opportunities for organisation and I could spend hours wandering up and down those colourful aisles (actually one night I did drive to an Officeworks in Wollongong because I new that particular place of refugee would be open all night...but that's another story). So you can imagine my excitement the other day when I ran out of printer ink and had the perfect excuse to head up to the one on Paramatta Rd. am I revelling too much of my personality here?).

Since it was a rare moment of sunshine in the week just gone I decided to brave the elements that could come and with a jaunty bounce in my step I was on my way. Let's be clear - I was in a good mood and was sure that there would be others that would be sharing my joy along the way. So I smiled at those that I past on my journey and... not one person smiled back at me! I couldn't believe it. As I approached my haven a man kindly stepped in and opened the door for me (gentlemen take note - this is still a nice thing to do) and I realised that at least here I would get one smile. But as I looked into his eyes to say 'thankyou' he abruptly looked away like I caught him doing something naughty. Mmmm, undeterred I wander the aisles for a good half hour (I could have stayed so much longer) made my purchase and headed back to see if the world had decided to start smiling again.

Apparently not.

It reminded me of when I love in London and used to catch the tube to work on Portobello Rd in Nottinghill (yeah the travel bookshop was across the road). After a couple of months I was so sick of grey, miserable looking people that I'd smile inanely at them just to annoy them (in retrospect it wasn't exactly gracious of me).

By the time I was approaching the Footbridge I was seriously doubting my capacity to cajole my fellow humans into ever smiling back. Then, just a little further down I spied someone coming out of a certain house on Arundel St that's opposite Sydney Uni - and out of a half hour walk, passing literally dozens of people, this was the only person to smile back at me. He was wearing a bright white t-shirt that had a green stripe across the chest and initials that looked suspiciously like 'E.U'. Gee, I wander what it was in his life that made him different...?

Moral of the story - when someone smiles at you this week, smile back!

A Soverign 24 hours

2008-02-11T23:03:00.000+11:00

I went out the other night to hear some friends play at the Sando in Newtown and it was a great night -but unfortunately (or providentially) the last song that Amy and James played for us has stuck in my mind and I haven't been able to stop thinking about it ever since... they did a cover of a new Paul Kelly Song called If I Could Start Today Again.

Here are the lyrics:

All the kings and queens in the bible
They could not turn back time
So what chance have I of a miracle
In this life of mine?
I only want one day
To unsay the things I said
Undo the thing I did
Twenty-four little hours
Oh God, please wipe them all away
And I promise I will change
If I could start today again

I know I'm not the milk and honey kind
Today I proved it true
When the red mist falls around my eyes
I know not what I do
Please give me back today
And I won't say the things I said
Or do that thing I did
Every minute, every hour
The replay's just the same
And I can't stand the shame
Oh let me start today again

I only want one day
One lousy day, that's all
Of every day that's been before
Since time began
I know my prayer's in vain
But for a second I'll pretend
That I can start today again

.... and ever since I've been thinking, if I could start one day again, take one day back and change it - which one would it be (and can I only have one?)? Why would I change it? What would be gained and or lost about the person that I am today because of it?

So often it seems only too easy to look back to 'something' that we would like to take back or do over again; for any numbers of reasons - pain to others, to ourselves, something that has made us more vulnerable, with tougher walls... and yet isn't often those very things that God uses to not only break us but also, by His grace, to refine us and make us like purer gold?

Just another day at the office

2008-02-04T17:54:00.000+11:00

This scene was just a little too familiar for some of us who were around for the Barneys fire that happened almost two years ago now...

But luckily for us - the explosion that happened at the Nando's chicken shop in Broadway early this morning, didn't cause anywhere near the same sort of disruption that the fire did. A couple of windows on our front area where blown out and the building was evacuated and without water... but other than that... ok, truth be told I sort of ended up no doing to much actual work today but got to roam around and take a bunch of photos.

The best part was getting to do something which I have wanted to for ages - get in behind the second lot of barriers at the old Barneys site and climb up on the roof for some birds-eye shots. My favourite photo from my little expedition though was one that's of the jar that has obviously been blown out of the Nandos building, across the road and over 2 ruined walls (it's the 'perri perri' one)

I decided to put them up here rather than FB because I've just discovered that a part of their conditions is that FB get's the rights to any pic's you put on their site - not with flickr so for those curious to see more photos just click on the photos to your right and follow the prompts.

Getting in front of the 8 ball

2008-01-17T21:18:00.000+11:00

Changed my facebook profile to a photo that I took while down south and have temporiliy relabelled my status as being behind the 8 ball. Let's just put it down to a momentary feeling of being overwhelmed by all that is coming up this year... But then I took a breather to listen to the 2nd in Driscolls series of A Rebel's Guide to Joy with today's focus being on loneliness. It made me realise that as a Christian I'm so far in front of the proverbial 8 ball that the game is starting over with a whole new team... The sermon I listened to today is a series that is based on the book of Philippians and, whilst I don't think that it's really an expository sermon (he did after spend about 10 mins of the 75 minute sermon on the passage and I think more time in Hebrews) the last 20 mins were a brilliant encouragement and challenge on what it means to live a life that is transformed by the impartation of Christ's grace.

So good in fact, that I went back through the sermon and kept on pausing it so that I could write it down as a reminder. I'd encourage you to download the whole thing and have a listen for yourself, but in the meantime here's a little sample for you:

You receive imparted righteousness. You get to be more like Jesus by the Grace that He gives. That's the cool thing with imputed righteousness... you receive a new heart, a new centre, a new nature. God changes you from the inside out. You're a new person, that's why we use words like 'born again'. You start over.

Paul uses words elsewhere like 'new creation in Christ' - everything is different. New from the inside out and your new nature, your new heart, has new desires. You don't want to sin anymore; you want to live for God. You don't want to do the stupid things you were doing; you want to change. You have new desires.

Not only that but you have a new power through the Holy Spirit that enables you to act on the desires of your new heart. And you're not doing this alone - you have a new community in the church. And you're no longer led by lies, you have truth now so you have new instructions to guide your new journey with God's people to live out, and obey, your new desires - all of which are the fruit of righteousness that has been imparted to you through Jesus...

You can stand before God, right now, because of Jesus and you can live a lifestyle that isn't just white knuckling against sin and fighting against your desires - new desires, new power, new nature, new community, new truth, new destiny, new Lord - forever. This is Christian life.

And it results (Paul) says to the glory and praise of God. You get excited, you get passionate, you get to live a new life. You get to be a new person, you get a new power, you get a new joy. It's all of grace and it's all of Jesus. You get a new life - one that's actually worth getting up out of bed for...

Inspired? You should be. We all should be shouldn't we? If we're marked and changed by the Holy Spirit because of Jesus... what kind of a different perspective should that be giving us on the day to day lives that we get to live?

One of the downsides to doing the type of ministry that I do is that you get to be a part of peoples lives in an often instense way through-out an intense time in their lives. It's both a priviladge and a heart-ache, especially the more that you care for them! And so I wouldn't normally do this but since another one of them has hopped on a plane this afternoon to be away for a year (and more to follow in the next couple of weeks!) I dedicate this post, and a little message, to these girls - and to all other's like them who are away from the people who remind them, daily, what their identity in Christ is...

Remember this, you are not alone. You are never alone because you are marked with, and by, the Holy Spirit. You are loved - not just by those who will miss you back home but by the Soverign Creator and Sustainer of this world and the world to come. The Saints are praying with you, and for you.

xxx
j.

South for the Summer

2008-01-13T16:49:00.000+11:00

I've spent the week here:

It was, as always, a great week. Filled with spending time with wonderful friends and making some new ones. There were dinner parties every second night and although I have a life that's very different from these people (all in their 50-late 60's) it was amazing how easy they all were to get to know and hang out with - sunset drinks each night over looking the beach is not a bad way to end a day if you ask me.

While away I was reading a fictional book called "The Old Man and Mr Smith" which had the basic premise that God (the Old Man) and Mr Smith (the devil) decided to come down to earth and roam around together for a little while to see just what humanity was up to - and whether God and the devil seem to play a role in people's lives any more. It was a fascinating book and if you can get your hands on a copy I highly recomend it because, although secular and very off base in it's biblical theology, it had some interesting points and things to consider.

But at the same time I've been listening to a series on 'Ruth' by Mark Driscoll. I haven't spent much time listening to him before but recently downloaded this series off itunes and I'm really glad that I did. The contrast between these sermons and reading the book was a staggering reminder at how far the world is from understanding the sovereignty of the true God that I worship and serve. There were many challenges for me in listening to the series - but the primary question rolling through my head is, as a woman, what kind of legacy do I want to leave behind? It was a question that Driscoll posed and while I've thought about it before, it's only since this week that I've started to strategically think about the kind of legacy that I want to be, and leave, for my family, friends and those that I minister to. It seems to me that if we think about the type of legacy that we want to leave behind us, then we should be a lot more strategic in our day to day actions... something to think about and pray through.

It was a week of things to delight the senses. Good food and wine featured as well - a lot. One day we went to an amazing winery and restaurant (that's the photo above - I actually think it's my new favourite restaurant in NSW) and had a sensational meal with this delightful trio of citrus tarts finishing off my meal. Isn't it great to be able to indulge in all the senses that God gave us?

the depth in an industry that's all about the surface

2008-01-04T23:15:00.000+11:00

This is me in action doing my 'other job'. I've been doing a fair bit of makeup work over the semester break which has had a couple of pro's, and the con of making me much more tired than I would like to be. But the pro's have definitely outweighed it all.

Primarily the relationships that I've been able to rebuild and step up a notch with some of the girls that I used to work with, as well as meet some new ones. In the makeup industry I am constantly being quizzed as to why on earth I would be a Christian, let alone be in ministry full time. The apparent contrast of makeup and ministry raises either eyebrows or questions but in these last couple of weeks some of the questions from the girls or clients have been, to say the least, intense.

The ones about dating and sex are pretty standard, but it's only been recently (and with deepening relationships) that they have turned to "is my handicapped brother a punishment from God?" and "do you think I'm going to Hell?" Phew!

People are literally crying out to see how the Gospel will speak in to their lives but are the secular Christians hearing them and really listening so they can offer the words of hope? I've been tempted a couple of times in the last few weeks to throw in uni ministry and go back to the work force because of the incredible opportunities that there are. Don't get me wrong, I love what I do at UTS (and no I'm not leaving because I do feel that God is using me there in some specific ways too) but it has renewed my earnest desire to see committed evangelical Christians reaching their peers in the workforce.

I love this city, but we're the modern day Corinth. Shouldn't we be doing something about that? I know there are many faithful Christians in the work force who see their offices as their mission fields, and I praise God for that, but somehow I don't think that many are thinking that strategically...

How can we change this?

to the start of all things new...

2008-01-01T23:58:00.000+11:00

I'm back. I wasn't going to be. I've been thinking about giving the whole blogging thing the shove and having, checked how many people are still logging on, I think I can safely say that my 'readers' have dwindled to a handful - which, to be honest, I'm much happier about. Because now I can start afresh.

There have been a few reasons not to write in the last couple of months - laziness, feeling uncreative and lets face it, some thoughts and feelings just shouldn't be lain out there for anyone and everyone to critique. But I am breaking a pattern this year. For the first time ever I have made 'new years resolutions'. Something that I have been quite firmly against but am now softening my views on (time should soften us and not make us harder right?). And so I have 28 resolutions. 28 things (for 28 years) that I want to see, accomplish or be challenged by in 2008. Some of them I'll share over the coming weeks perhaps, but for now I just wanted to share someone else's thoughts to kick off my new year.

I've mentioned her before, Frances Havergals - an 18th century poet from England who most Christians know for being the author of "Take My Life". A while ago I picked up this tattered old book, with it's covers nearly worn off which has a thought of hers for each day. I'm under no allusions that I'll be disciplined enough to read each one each day (a girl can hope but I'm also a realist) but for this day at least i could share with you, in the last few minutes of the first day of this year, her thoughts about "A Leader You Can Trust".

'We have not passed this way heretofore, but the Lord Jesus has. 'For we have not a High Priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities' (Heb 4:15). IT is all untrodden and unknown ground to us, but He knows it all by personal experience; the steep bits that take away our breathe, the stony bits that make our feet ache so, the hot shadeless stretches that make us feel so exhausted, the rushing rivers that we have to pass through, our Shepherd has gone through it all before us... And He does not only know, with that sort of up on the shelf knowledge which is not guilty of want throught among ourselves, but He remembers that we are dust...Think of that when you are tempted to question the gentleness of His leading. He is remembering al the time; and not one step will He make you take beyond what your foot is able to endure. Never mind if you think it will not be able for the step that seems to come next; either He will so strengthen it that it shall be able, or He will call a sudden halt, and you shall not have to take it at all...

...I, the Lord, am with thee, be thou not afraid!
I will help and strengthen, be thou not dismayed!
Yea, I will uphold the with My own right hand;
Thou art called and chosen in My sight to Stand.
Onward then, and fear not, children of the day.
For His word shall never, never pass away!
For the year before us, oh what rich supplies!
For the poor and needy living streams shall rise;
For the sad and sinful shall His grace abound;
For the faint and feeble, perfect strength be found."

Not a bad reminder to start the year off with eh?

right or wrong? you be the judge...

2007-11-05T22:37:00.000+11:00

It's that time of year again when the birth festivities are in full swing. I (occasionally) like to joke that the world revolves around me at this point in the year, but don't usually take it too seriously - until last Monday that is.

On Monday, in our student training time, we were lead through some personality profiling; in particular about the birth order of people within their families. This is what was said about a female only child:

"The female only child often has an underlying sense of herself as a special person - Her Highness - and she is often hurt if others don't treat her that way. She may crave approval, if not adoration, especially from the men in her life. She often has difficulty understanding others unless they are like her. She is at once mature for her years and yet perpetually childish.

The only girl child is often over-protected by her parents and that can lead her, as an adult, to expect similar protection and care from friends and husband. The husband she chooses (and she usually does the choosing) will have to be a flexible, easy going, good natured man, able to cope with her wilfulness. An older man is usually best, someone who is amused rather than threatened by her capriciousness and her tendency to test his love. Like the male only, the female only is not well suited to any particular birth order spouse. The best choice is an oldest brother of sisters or a younger brother of sisters... another only child is the most difficult match, as it is unlikely that he will worship her sufficiently or that she will be able to cater to his needs...

Her female friends are likely to be oldest sisters of sisters or sometimes youngest sister of sisters. She, more than the male only child, will want to have friends and may seek intimacy without having the skills to attain it easily. A female only is usually quite intelligent and competent, but her talent may be wasted unless she as the ideal work situation, which is a congenial environment where she can work alone or for a kind, older man."

mmm....

I am way to keyed up. I am an emotional sucker. I ate too much turkish delight....

2007-10-29T22:55:00.000+11:00

All does not bode well for sleeping tonight.

What is it about TV series that can lure you in to their world? How is it that I can become so attached to 'people' that (a) I don't know and (b) are fictional???

I finally sat down to watch the last series of 'Friends' - I know it finished years ago but I've never seen the last episodes. And just like MASH, SATC (as well as a few others) it reduced me to a bit of a blubbering state on my couch.

Is it that I don't like saying goodbyes?

Is it just me?

Stayed tuned people - new posts are or their way!

A little ditty for the day

2007-10-18T22:37:00.000+10:00

Some might know that I've started to learn Arabic in preparation for going to Bahrain next year. My wonderful tutor found this for me to learn the arabic alphabet with... ain't u-tube grand?

ok - not sure how you put the whole link on the blog - but click on the question mark

2007-10-17T22:26:00.000+10:00

I've spent the last two days walking all over Canberra in anticipation of NTE - in particular getting the things for ushering nailed away before we get down there again.
I'm excited about this year - more so than others I think. I guess that is what happens when you take ownership in things huh?

But while we were wondering around I came across this wall in one of the ANU buildings. It's just a wall that guests are asked to sign in simple black markers. Everyone is invited to sign - but only one is covered under some perspex glass. Can you read it? Nelson Mandela.

Now at this point I could ask all sorts of politically motivated questions... why is his signature more worthy of being immortalised than anyone else's? what does it say about the artistic sensibilities of the organisers....? But all I really wanted to point out is one of the signatures that is directly above N.M's. Do you notice the pudgy angel?

Leunig. Classic. Where else could you get two very different types of greatness so close together?

What's the difference bewteen a blog and a soap box on the corner street?

2007-10-12T18:04:00.000+10:00

I'm in the process of writing an article for AFES's monthly 'web-salt' magazine (if any office people read this, don't worry, it'll be in on Monday morning!) and so I'd like to get some thoughts off anyone who is reading or has done some thinking on the topic of blogging and evangelism.

A couple of questions for you to think about in your responses:

Is it possible to preach the gospel over this medium in a way that speaks to an individuals life?

Why/how do we feel as though we can relate to others effectively through this form?

Is it more comforting to sit at a keypad and share your thoughts and feelings than it is to do so in person? Why?

Can it be evangelism if it's just one way? (ie people just reading but not showing any obvious responses either way?)

Any more thoughts or suggestions would be very welcome!

These are a few of my favourite things

2007-10-08T21:46:00.000+10:00

This one's for "The Blogger Team"...

In a world where too often we dredge ourselves up out of bed, weary from weekends and wary of what is to come the question must be asked - How can Monday mornings be great? Well, normally they start for me with good Bourke St Bakery coffee but this particular morning my buzz came from the great (and only slightly idolatrous) delight of having my new baby delivered in the form of a 15inch Mac Book Pro. I am in love...

It was a weekend filled with two of my favourite ladies. First up Pen and I watched "Becoming Jane" (terrible movie - like "Titanic" or "Romeo and Juliet" you spend the whole time waiting to see just how exactly it is that the main characters end up alone and without love) and then spent Sunday arvo at Luna Park.It was so much fun! As you can see here, Liv had her first ride on a carousel, although she seemed somewhat dubious about the whole thing... and it was a great afternoon to just wander around and try and look at everything with the fresh eyes of a child. To just delight in the sensory overload of colours, sounds and the sweet smell of fairy floss. Of course the cynical eyes were also able to take in the wearied parents, the cigarette butts and the temper tantrums of little ones who couldn't cope with the excitement.

I had the excitement though of getting the chance to start to get over my dislike of snakes and had a python wrapped around my neck (ok trust me - it looks littler here than what it really was!). Just as I was asking the woman if the snakes get cranky being passed around (she said "yes - but they try and hide") this guy tried to make his way under my top... not an experience I'll run to again but it was worth it. They're surprisingly soft and silky to touch but there was that weird feeling of helplessness as he wound himself around me and I was too nervous to try and direct him elsewhere...

But now I am going to continue to discover the delights of my new metallic baby!

A great way to start the holiday week

2007-09-25T00:26:00.000+10:00

When I was in NYC, I literally walked from one end of Manhattan to the other one day - and so, when making my way into town today I decided to roam the streets from Broadway to Town Hall (instead of like what I normally do which is catch the bus as I rush to and fro). It was so great, do it sometime! When was the last time you wandered through town and just explored it like a tourist? The only down side was the nasty blood blister that's decided to pop up... but still...

A wander was followed by a great lunch in the sun dappled courtyard near St Andrews (lovely day, lovely company - could it get any better you're thinking?) and a quick window shop before heading over to my sisters to hang out with her and my cute as niece. What was supposed to be an afternoon tea ended up in a 5 hour visit which included a walk to the highest point in Sydney where the horizon offers views sweeping from Chatswood to Palm beach (with the city scape in between and it was a great sunset today wasn't it?). Here is my adorable niece planting a big sloppy kiss on me...

Tomorrow morning I get on a plane and head up to the beauty of Ballina and Byron.

Jealous?

Sometimes, there isn't much to say...

2007-09-20T23:34:00.000+10:00

...or there is, and you're just not sure how to say it. What I will say is that it has been an up and down couple of weeks and I am very thankful that this time next week I will be hiding away in one of my 'other home' locations!

One project that I have been working on lately is getting this organised:

And YOU'RE invited! Please come, pretty please? It would be great to see as many people there as possible - it is, after all, a fundraiser to keep me doing the work I love.

Something else to add to your list of websites is this one - my new AFES website. I'm still updating it and working out some of the kinks - but eventually the plan is for it t be working as the kind of site that people can go to and get some more detailed information about what is happening on campus.

I promise to be more communicative soon (even if it is just to an audience of Benn's!) but for now, I'm off to bed.

2007-09-05T22:33:00.000+10:00

What do early mornings at the gym and having coffee with two muslim girls have in common? Both can leave you exhausted, uncomfortable, sore and feeling a little beaten up.
The girls today were...tough? Is that the right word? I don't quite know how to describe it. I got hi-jacked a little - I was expecting to meet with up with one girl and she brought a friend. A friend who was brought, I suspect, to speak for her. Another word to describe it our time was circles, circles, circles. That is all they wanted to talk in.

But we did come to one point of clarity after almost 2 hours: I asked them if they think I am going to hell: yes. They asked the same question of me: yes.

Thanks for those who have been praying for me and sending messages of support and encouragement over the last couple of weeks with mission things (sorry for my lack of responsiveness sometimes!). It's been greatly appreciated. But here is my prayer to share for right now (at least for the Christians who read this): that we are people who actually know God's word. So many times I would ask them where in the koran they were speaking from and they couldn't tell me. My prayer is that we have the intellectual integrity to actually know what we profess.

Why do you believe ... ?

2007-08-27T23:16:00.000+10:00

Fill in the blanks for yourself: that the sky is blue? It's good to brush your teeth? That you have value? In God? Jesus? Buddah? Islam?

Until today, I don't think that I ever fully realised how powerful asking that question can be. How powerful, and liberating, it can be to walk up to a stranger and asks what makes them tick. The change that occurred today is that I asked the question "Why are you a Muslim? What does it mean to you?" of three female students (it's Islamic awareness week at UTS as well as our own Christian mission - God's sense of humour or something bigger?) and now each of them want to meet next week for coffee. Similarly a non-Christian who came to the talk we held today (Andrew Katay - The Delusion of Atheism) wants to meet up to ask some questions about Christianity and specifically some things about Christian uni students... I'm thinking that I have just been a little blind to the evangelistic opportunities that I have on campus when 15 minutes can bring about 4 coffee dates with these girls...

As you can see the 'theme' is vote one God - in other words, make a choice; have the integrity to ask yourself the tough questions about why you believe whatever it is that you do and go from there. I guess like an election, asking yourself who do you want to be aligned with and then make a mark to show it. But at least make some sort of decision rather than faffing about with nothing-ness. Ok, I'm tired and that may have come out harsher than it's meant to but you get my drift.

Thanks for those who have come and told me that they're getting emails and have been praying for us. As you can tell from the snippets above - God is definitely answering those prayers and providing great opportunities for talking to people!

the little things of the day to day

2007-08-24T00:10:00.000+10:00

So the sleeplessness is back. Annoying annoying, annoying. My solution to it last night was (in hopeful preparation for moving in December) to rip through my cupboards and throw out any clothes that haven't been worn in a while. I have three industrial size garbage bags ready to go to the salvo's. How can one person hang on to so much 'stuff'?

Tonight's solution? Putting the finishing touches on the last (of 3 in 10 days) sermon that I'm preaching tomorrow at Tara (girls school) while watching 'The Office - Christmas Specials". And...

...I'm trying to fulfil a little promise for monday morning - and while researching I came across this image - looks good huh?

A bit random, but does anyone happen to have a recipe for a dark chocolate tart?

More than myself would appreciate it.

Finally, mark this date in your diaries now. October 6th. I'm hosting a fundraising trivia night and YOU are invited! The cause? To raise financial support for a certain female staffworker at UTS...

"We didn't know him; the truth is we're a group of people who knew each other a long time ago..."

2007-08-10T20:58:00.000+10:00

This is a line from a scene in one of my favourite movies "Big Chill". I think it's a brilliant, brilliant script (and acting, not to mention killer soundtrack): the way that it captures what happens to friendships when you've been separated from the people who have known all the ins and outs of your life - only to come back together under really crappy circumstances. There is something amazingly special about being with friends who have known you - really known you - for almost a lifetime (so as you can imagine, I'm looking forward to the fact that I get to hang out with 3 of them tomorrow night!). It's not that they have to know all of your baggage, but they know some, they still love you and they don't pretend to know more than they do.

After having lunch with a friend today, I've realised that I'm increasingly frustrated, and maybe even a little hurt, with people thinking that they know me based on a preconceived notion that they have. For better or worse, although relatively open with people, I'm not someone who wears my past on my sleeve for all to view. It's not healthy, helpful or necessary - and yet I recognise the tension that I am the one holding things back and thus not giving people the chance to 'know me'.

But what is it about being known? Why do we crave being known and understood - only to put barriers up in the way of certain people really knowing us because of the fear of what they will do with that knowledge? But maybe I'm still caught up in my thoughts on vulnerability from a couple of weeks ago.

I think it's also on my mind because I've been working on a sermon that I'll be giving at the Credo public meeting next week. It's Luke 9:18-37 - Jesus asking of Peter "who do you say I am?". Here's my question; why does He care? Is it that He wants to be known for more than what other people see or presume about Him (ie, those who follow Him into remote areas to get healed) or does He ask the question to propel those who would seek Him into doing something about what they discover?

Here's "A poem from Prison" - by Bonhoeffer

Who am I? They often tell me I would step from my cell's confinement calmly, cheerfully, firmly, like a squire from his country-house.
Who am I? They often tell me I would talk to my warden freely and friendly and clearly, as though it were mine to command.
Who am I? They also tell me I would bear the days of misfortune equably, smilingly, proudly, like one accustomed to win.
Am I then really all that which other men tell of, or am I only what I know of myself, restless and longing and sick, like a bird in a cage, struggling for breath, as though hands were compressing my throat, yearning for colours, for flowers, for the voices of birds, thirsting for words of kindness, for neighborliness, trembling with anger at despotisms and petty humiliation, tossing in expectation of great events, powerlessly trembling for friends at an infinite distance, weary and empty at praying, at thinking, at making, faint and ready to say farewell to it all.
Who am I? This or the other? Am I one person today, and tomorrow another?
Am I both at once?
A hypocrite before others, and before myself a contemptibly woebegone weakling? Or is something within me still like a beaten army, fleeing in disorder from victory already achieved?
Who am I? They mock me, these lonely questions of mine. Whoever I am, Thou knowest, O God, I am thine.

You gotta love this city...

2007-08-08T23:46:00.000+10:00

Tonight was a lot of fun. I played tourist guide (well, a little) for a friend from Vancouver. First up was the Gallery of NSW, followed by dinner in Kirabilli and various strolls and photo shoots under the Harbour Bridge and Luna Park, and then, for no apparent reason, a fireworks display that we got to watch from under the bridge with only a handful of others. Beautiful.

Ben, if you ever decide to lower your standards of communication, and make it to this site - thanks for being the motivation to run around and play for the night. If nothing else, I'm banking on the fact that we made those people in the restaurant laugh at two 'luna-ntics' spinning around...

How many Christians can you know at the snow?

2007-08-05T21:20:00.000+10:00

So, it wasn't exactly the weekend I had originally planned to have. Months ago, a friend from college called and suggested that we spend the weekend hanging out and catching up while skiing. Perfect right? Until Thursday that is, when she called and told me that she was unable to make it because of illness. You can imagine my dilemma having already forked out some cash and being keen to hit the slopes... so, I sucked up some courage and decided to still go and stay with her husband and his friends (ie pretty much not knowing anyone).

After 2 and a bit days I worked out that I had either met once before, or had connections with about 17 people down there (and not just from our group because I ran into more on the mountain). It was bizarre - like the two and a bit degrees of separation that most Christians seem to have. All in all, once I passed through my discomfort barriers, it was a fantastic weekend of hanging out with some really lovely people.

And the snow was good too. Ok, not as great as Whilster in Dec/Jan (I think I've been spoilt), but still good. And I've walked away with no broken bones - just a little whiplash and concussion. But it was worth it.

Kindle the flame

2007-08-02T00:01:00.000+10:00

Mt 10 year school reunion is coming up in a couple of months. I'm looking forward to it actually - there are a number of people I'd really love to see and know how their lives have been changing over the years. When I left yr 12 I was a Christian, and had a number of Christian friends. Unfortunately, when some of them hit uni, the things of this world became more important and they decided to walk away from Jesus (actually that's one of the reasons why I am so passionate about uni ministry).

So you can imagine how encouraging it is when you hear about someone from school who has walked towards the Lord instead.

When I was about 5, I started at a new school in Melbourne. Unfortunately for me, that first day at school (always a traumatic one) ended up in me having two broken bones and a whole bunch of new friends who wanted to get in on the action. One of them, was a girl named Christine. Years after I did, C ended up moving to Sydney with her family and we became friends again at Ravenswood for a few years in high school before she left in year 10 - on a path to be, in her words "pretty much as far away from being a Christian as you could imagine".

Since '99 she has been living in London, and it was there that three years ago she became a Christian through the 'Alpha' ministries. Three weeks ago, she rocked up to CCSI, remembering that while we were at school there had been a number of younger people who went there. Although I hadn't seen her there that night, I heard how God had been working through her life and when I did I was just so excited that I had to call her straight away (feel a little bad now that it was after 10:30 but I was just compelled!). Since then we've had lunch, swapped testimonies and I've heard of her plans to go to China or Nepal as a missionary.

This is a picture of us taken from Monday night at the CCSI "women in ministry" night (crappy one taken from my phone camera but it's a great memory). It's so amazing to be able to look back and see the ways in which God has been working through peoples lives over 10 years and I can't help but be excited when thinking about what can happen over the next 10.

Can you imagine how excited we'll be when we get to heaven? Can you imagine how many cries of "I never thought you'd be here!" will be going up? So for those who were, or are, Christians at high school and wonder if it makes any difference - be encouraged because it does! (it just may take you ten years or more to know it).

Brownie points if anyone gets the what I'm referring to in the title...

2007-07-30T22:51:00.000+10:00

Wow! Anyone else just watch Tanya Levin on "Enough Rope"? I'm thinking there won't be so many happy people at Hillsong tomorrow...

The politics of being a Christian

2007-07-30T08:33:00.000+10:00

Early Saturday morning I headed to Chatswood to join 15 others and have a breakfast with John Anderson on the topic of "Staying the Course as a Leader" - getting some of his thoughts on what it means to be a Christian man or woman with the conviction that Jesus must be the difference in our society.

For those overseas (or like myself and usually a little less politically aware) John Anderson is the former Deputy PM of Australia, and it was really interesting to hear some of his perspectives on the strengths and weakness of Gen Y - and where previous generations have failed them by not providing a clearer framework in which to make decisions about their lives (ie, everything is more temporary and lacking in visions beyond 5 years, always thinking that we/they will have 'the good life' or things that they want because most have never known what it means to go without). He also spoke about what it means to be a leader: to have a vision, to implement that vision and to have others want to support it and come along on the journey. His passion and enthusiasm to spend time talking and sharing one on one to find out what we were doing was somewhat impressive and showed a genuine humility that you couldn't help but want to respond to - and it's easy to see why he received so many accolades from his peers when he retired from Dep PM. I've started reading his biography (also with the sub agenda of giving it to my dad to give him the testimony of a respected Christian man) and, although I don't think it's the best written bio ever, it's definitely worth a read.

But since Saturday, and last week when reading one of Justin Moffats post's (sorry - still don't know how to link but if you go to his blog it's the one "What makes God look Glorious" or do a UTube search on John Piper + prosperity), I've been thinking more and more about what it is that we do, or don't, stand for as Christians. Do we really live as salt and light to each other let alone the rest of the world? Do we challenge, exhort and encourage each other in Holiness in a way that Scripture would encourage if not demand of us?

As I mentioned before, I've been reading Chronicles of Narnia while not being able to sleep. In "The Horse and His Boy" there is a section which is talking about the people of Narina and the fact that they have gotten so comfortable and used to peace in their world that they have become soft - and disconnected - with the purpose of being a Narnian. When trouble comes to them, they stand around and talk about possibilities, rather than stepping up and taking action until a leader (not Aslan) comes along to motivate them into doing something...

Where do you think we are 'softest' as Christians? How could change impact our society?

If you're not already - please pray

2007-07-25T23:58:00.000+10:00

Daily news - London report:

"The Taliban kidnappers of 23 Korean hostages have today extended the deadline for the South Korean government to agree to withdraw its troops from Afghanistan, after saying on Sunday it had just 24 hours.
A purported Taliban spokesman said today the hard-line militia has extended its deadline for the lives of 23 South Korean hostages until Tuesday evening.

Qari Yousef Ahmadi, who claims to speak for the Taliban, said late today the militants extended the deadline another day after the Afghan government refused to release any of the 23 Taliban prisoners the insurgents want freed.

The militants have pushed back their ultimatum on the Koreans' fate at least three times. Afghan officials in Ghazni province have met the militants in person and are also negotiating over the phone, but little progress appears to have been made so far."

PLS NOTE - I'VE NOW EDITED WHAT WAS ORIGINALLY BELOW FOR THE BENEFIT OF THOSE WHO DON'T READ THE COMMENTS SECTION (but haven't edited the comments):

Last night, when I first put this post up, I was sure that the girl in the middle of the photo (with the hat) was some one that I went to SMBC with. Happily for my friend, I was very wrong - it was not her, but rather someone else's friend/daughter/sister.

Over the last few days at D'Arts getaway, we have been reading through Revelation and one passage has stood out in the last 24 hours, 6:9-11, and the saints who are waiting under the Lord's alter - waiting for Him to take just vengence against those who have persecuted and martyred them for the name of Jesus. Their cry is "How long O Lord?"

At the time of first reading it, the was a feeling of distance and abstraction, but with what is happening in Afghanistan right now... let alone other times of persecution that we haven't been aware of...

Don't you just want to cry out "How long O Lord?" too? How long until things will be made right and perfect?

Please keep praying for these brothers and sisters.

I think I can, I think I can...

2007-07-23T23:12:00.000+10:00

Now I may be getting a little loopy from not enough sleep - but tonight has been a blast in my house... how often to you get to turn up the ipod speakers and dance around your apartment in trackies and ski-boots? I am determined to break these boots in before heading to the slopes in a couple of weekends time, and breaking them in while packing and dancing seems like a pretty good option to me (although if you ever do see anyone dancing in ski boots it just looks completely un-co, and I've just discovered that it scratches the floor).

You see, the dancing around is a celebration of the fact that just like Thomas and my new late night friends on the tour - I am almost at the top of my mountain of camps/holiday ministry. Tomorrow morning I'll be heading south with some of the students from UTS to go on our D'Arts Fac Getaway - the last week in 6 that I will need to be away for. The theme this year is "Look Forward" and we're delving into the book of Revelation to see what God's word has to say to His church and how we are to live today in light of what will come Tomorrow. I'm really looking forward to it - we're actually going to be covering the whole book in two and a half days so it's a good chance to really get into the text.

If you're reading this and you're a person who prays to Jesus, I would really appreciate prayer for good sleep and rest over the next few days in particular. God has been very good in sustaining me this far through a reasonably intense couple of months, so one more week would be great.

2007-07-20T00:08:00.000+10:00

So tonight someone explained the tour de France to me.

And here I was thinking they just rode around in circles doing their own thing... I didn't know there were teams, and tactics and all those different coloured/meaning jerseys. All of a sudden it's so much more exciting!

But can someone tell me - do the teams slowly get eliminated or do they all have a chance to win in the end? The guys at the front (David Miller et al) do they get to head out earlier than the others or are they just really fast?

The one down side to this form of late night entertainment is I now want to book a ticket and head back to Europe for a month or so!

Am I Losing My Mind?

2007-07-19T01:15:00.000+10:00

Well, at least that's what's been scrolling through my head the last few nights when insomnia has apparently decided to kick in and I can't get to sleep anywhere before 2.30... it is soooo annoying and inconvenient right now. No amount of gym/afternoon runs are seeming to wear me out, so I'm back into reading the Chronicles of Narnia (which is great but maybe over-stimulating my imagination as I head to bed?) and using the remaining late hours to do some more reflecting. Here's one stream of thought for you:

Going to church on Sunday night was a bit of a revelating experience. Having not been there for 5 weeks, I was really looking forward to seeing everyone and, as I was walking up to the building, I had the words and thoughts of Bonhoeffer running through my mind about what it means to fellowship and share with one another through everything.

That night we looked at Psalm 42 and 43 and it got me thinking... One thing that Andrew Graham kept coming back to, was what does it mean to be 'down' - to feel that urgent desire to come into God's presence and have Him lift us up out of the depths. Having loved and lived with people with a variety of mental illnesses over the years, I'm pretty familiar with people longing for feelings of wholeness, or to have a better grasp on reality. It's hard and there's often such a stigma with not quite 'having it all together'. Especially for Christians - after all, shouldn't they just be able to trust God? (or so the line of thinking goes).

The answer, as far as I can tell, is just never as simple as that. But what I do question is this; how is it that we support those (either in our immediate church communities or on the outskirts) who need it the most? What kind of perceptions or preconceived notions do we have and how does that reflect the ways in which we actively care for one another?

Many years ago, I lived in the country at 'Cornerstone' - a Christian community based in rural NSW. While there, I got a better understanding about what it means to live with illnesses such as depression or bipolar (to name just a couple). More than that though, I got a lesson in what it means to live with these things, and others, with transparency. What it meant to bear with each other and support each other through the good, the bad and the ugly in a way that, quite frankly, I don't see many of our Christian communities doing so well at the moment.

But what is that really about? Although it could easily be the case for some people, I don't actually think it's about our unwillingness to bear each others burdens. But rather, could it be about the vulnerability that comes when you open yourself up to asking someone how they are really going in life - because you have to be able to take a pretty hard look at your own?

Having just spent a few weeks reading through what an ideal "Life Together" could look like, I can't help but think that, as a Christian community, we're often overlooking living transparently with one another as a key aspect to our fellowship. Why do you think this is? What would you need to be in place in your own life or church community to be more transparent with people?

2007-07-16T20:17:00.000+10:00

The two AJ's: pretending to be calling people to announce their engagement!!!

As you may be able to guess - it wasn't going to take anything to convince me to get out of my trackies and head to the Oaks to celebrate with them on Saturday night.

To the two of you - you are two extraordinary people whom I love so much. You are, and will be, in my prayers from now until... well, basically eternity. I feel blessed that God has brought you into my path - and thrilled that He has brought yours together. I can wait to see some more of what He has in store for you.

Where are the answers?

2007-07-15T16:08:00.000+10:00

So I have some exciting news - but apparently I can't post about it until someone else puts it on their website first (you have 24hrs!). Let's just say that I love my friends and last night was wonderful to see and a be a part of.

In the meantime I'll content myself with doing some proper reflecting on study camp. Questions, questions, questions... that's what has characterised the week that has just been. Both being the one questioned about what it means to be a Christian and who Jesus is - along with questions that I have about what teens are being taught in their schools and how they see and understand themselves in the light of the rest of their world.
The questions that the girls of my discussion group had were fantastic. Many of them simply didn't know who Jesus is, what is the Gospel and how Christianity could be so much more than their preconceived notions of 'religion'. It was truly a blessing to be there and to be someone to help them work through some of those issues. My prayer for them though, is that they have a restlessness to keep asking their questions but to know that at some point, we have to do something with the knowledge that we wont always have the answers but that doesn't mean that we have to put making a decision about Christianity on hold.

There really is something about sharing an intense week of ministry with a team of people that can change, challenge and motivate you in ways that you hadn't previously expected. I was incredibly thankful to God as I was able to see some of the Credoites putting into practice things that we had talked about before camp about what they could expect - but even more so as I saw the effects that doing a week of ministry had on them and their own understanding of God and His role in their lives.

And for the whistler blowers/fun/picnic crew - you know who you are - thanks for another year. I feel blessed that we were able to do it again, to do it differently and to most of all to do it together because, in my book, you're four pretty remarkable people.

2007-07-14T01:39:00.000+10:00

Little update - I can't sleep. So I've added photos and stories to the flickr.

There are too many conversations from the last 24hrs that have been swirling around in my head. Words like vulnerability, open-ness, clarity and communication have opened up an old can of worms and as I've been trying to process them all I've been listening to some of my favourite reminiscent songs. These are the words to one of them:

"Special Ones" - George
Isn't it funny how you never really screamed at my face,
but your anger so unspoken and unchannelled
permeates my essence to the point where I,
don't want to see you hear you, be anywhere near you,
You probably think I'm threatened by you
but your illusionary power doesn't threaten me,
Actually I think it's kind of funny that you create an illusion that is a mirror,
I don't appreciate you and I know that that surprises you
I suppose you see that those who follow their heart always win,
those with integrity have won the match before it's begun.

So rather than being kicked around, I'm going to kick you to the curb
So rather than being pushed around, I'm going to push you away first
So rather than trying to protect you, I'm going to cover my bases first
So rather than trying to open my heart, I'm going to lock it with a key
So that only the special ones, so that only the special ones, can ever get through to me

Some can see beyond the barrier of threshold whereas others can't see beyond their sculptured mould,
you could offer me nothing, you could offer me nothing that I need
Do you think I'm asking too much?
A kind of respect and trust that shouldn't even be questioned,
how can I open my heart with dishonesty sitting next to me?
I've honoured your honour to the point of embarrassment,
but innocence in the hands of the guilt-free is kicked to, is kicked to the curb
I was ashamed of my innocence,
I was ashamed of my innocence but now with clarity I see that your bullshit is just not worthy of me

I don't want to be angry...

This is not worthy of me
and now with clarity I see
that I can walk away,
I can walk away.

So rather than being kicked around, I'm going to kick you to the curb
So rather than being pushed around, I'm going to push you away first
So rather than trying to protect you, I'm going to cover my bases first
So rather than trying to open my heart, I'm going to lock it with a key
So that only the special ones, so that only the special ones, can ever get through to me.
---
Do you think that someone who writes those kinds of words will ever let barriers down? Can the rest of us?

Can you say "That's awkward"?

2007-07-13T20:55:00.000+10:00

The best way to recover from a week of study camp? Hours of "The Office" curled up on my own couch. The BBC at it's biting best with all of the sarcasm, bitterness and pain that comes with the awkwardness of relationships (whatever form they may take) - getting to laugh at them as well as all of your own inadequacies and vulnerabilities at the same time...

Followed now of course, by the sentimentally classic "Pretty Woman". Talk about your vunerable people... who could say that dramatic romantic gestures are over-rated?

But actual reflections from the week will come later.

from one tour to another...

2007-07-06T21:07:00.000+10:00

Im back. Sort of. For 12 more hours before the CRU HSC study camp. The tour with the AYWK's crew was good - tough at times, but worth every second for what I personally was able to be challenged by and learn through. Some stories wont be shared here, but I'll share a couple of highlights from our time at Fraser.

A major one was getting to do the 4WD'ing across Fraser in one of these 11 seater troupee's. I had a blast and only once got a little bogged at Indian Heads - but I figure it was when I came into parking, and only took me a few minutes to get out on on my own, so it doesn't really count...

For the first time I was all set up and cosy in a tent as we camped at Dunburra for 3 days and it was great - anyone looking to join on a camping adventure sometime let me know! The weather was gorgeous - shorts and t-shirts weather and it was beautiful swimming at Champagne Pools with tropical fish. But in the end - it really was an experience because of the people that I got to share it with. Through good and bad, they are brothers and sisters and it was a privileged to do it with two men, Graham and Andy, that I have so much respect for.

So here's one snapshot from the Maheno, more (with stories) will be added to flickr soon for those who want more details.
xxx. J.

Life on Fraser

2007-06-24T11:58:00.000+10:00

It's so predicable that it's (almost) laughable. Happens every time I go away - I run a million miles an hour before hand and then come down sick as soon as I stay still. Luckily for me, the weather on Fraser Island has been condusive to not doing too much other than small hikes, a few pic's (some more should be going on flickr soon) and cosying up on a couch to do some reading for when I spend time with the good people from AYWK's college next week.

The two books I've been spending the most time in are Dietrich Bonhoeffer's "Life Together" and the pop psych book that Caz Andrews put me onto "Anything She Can Do I Can Do Better". It's all about female competition - which could be summarised into the three areas of life, love and looks. At times it's very funny as you get a glimpse into the ways in which girls will size each other up or vie for being the centre of attention - well, funny and scary...

I think the easy expectation of Christians is that we live in an 'ideal' world/community where surely something like female competition doesn't occur. But my own experiences tell me that this is far from true... I've been both the 'victim' and the perpetrator of this phenomenon: whether it be through friends (the author would call them frennemies), or women that I have gone to bible college or work with (actually for me it was bible college where it was the worst, which is the main reason for doing a session on it next week to get the girls in particular thinking about female competition within ministry). The book taps into the fact that most of it stems from our own insecurities, but also a socialisation process that starts from birth. I found this quote (particularly is out-of-context biblical references) fascinating:

"Competition is a fact of life. Without it we, as a species, would not survive. We all do it, either overtly or covertly, verbally or silently, actively or passively. Yet women find it hard, almost impossible, to acknowledge their competitive thoughts or actions for fear of being labelled aggressive, a most unfeminine quality. To be a 'real' woman one must be silent, demure, passive and sweet and only speak well of others - apparently just having a womb is not enough. Anything else is ugly and evil and will leave you a spinster crone, the worst punishment a woman can receive for all 'natural' women want to marry and have children. The Weaker Vessel must know her place, curb her curiosity or be turned into a pillar of salt." (p 7)

You can instantly pick up on her biases and her own agenda - but at least she doesn't hide them and it's there for the discerning reader to agree or disagree with. But interestingly, this morning as I was reading Bonhoeffer at breakfast, he tackled the same sort of issue (ie competitiveness) but couched it in biblical language:

"...it is vitally necessary that every Christian community from the very outset face this dangerous enemy squarely and eradicate it. There is no time to lose here, for from the first moment when a man meets another person he is looking for a strategic position he can assume and hold over another person. There are strong persons and weak ones. If a man is not strong, he immediately claims the right of the weak as his own and uses it against the strong. There are gifted and ungifted persons, simple people and difficult people, devout and less devout, the sociable and the solitary... the important thing is that a Christian community should known that somewhere in it there will certainly be 'a reasoning among them, which one of them will be the greatest' (Luke 9:46). It is the struggle of the natural man for self-justification. He finds it only in comparing himself with others, in condemning and judging others. Self-justification and judging others go together, as justification by grace and serving others go together."

What do you think? Why are you competitive? Girls and guys - I'd appreciate both opinions...

Thou art my King - Psalm 44:4

2007-06-18T22:31:00.000+10:00

How much do we know about those who write the words that we sing in church on a Sunday night?

Take for example Frances Havergal. Frances mother died when she was 11, her father when she was in her early twenties. She refused to sing anything other than gospel music and although she was proposed to a number of times she remained single because the only man she ever loved wasn't a Christian. By the time she was fifteen she'd memorised all of the New Testament, the Psalms and Isaiah.

Her hymn of consecration, "Take My Life and Let It Be" was written in 1874 and of it she wrote that it came out of a night of evangelising that saw about ten people become Christians. Her prayer, "Take my silver and my gold; not a mite would I withhold," in the same hymn wasn’t just words that she put to paper. In August, 1878, Frances wrote to a friend:

"The Lord has shown me another little step, and, of course, I have taken it with extreme delight. 'Take my silver and my gold' now means shipping off all my ornaments to the church Missionary House, including a jewel cabinet that is really fit for a countess, where all will be accepted and disposed of for me ... Nearly fifty articles are being packed up. I don't think I ever packed a box with such pleasure."

I don’t know about you but it’s people like this that really challenge me and my priorities. So, for the last few months before going to bed I’ve been reading some of her reflections as quite times. Thought I’d share one that really stood out to me:

"Can I say it? Ought I say it? Do I say it? Is Jesus in very deed and truth my King? Where is the proof of it? Am I living in His kingdom of righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Ghost now? Am I speaking the language of that kingdom? Am I following the customs of the people which are not His people, or do I diligently learn in the ways of His people? Am I practically living under the rule of His laws? Have I done heart homage to Him? Am I bravely and honestly up-holding His cause, because it is His, not merely because those around me do so? Is my allegiance making any practical difference to my life today?

He came Himself to purchase me from my tyrant and His foe; He laid aside His crown and His royal robes, and left His kingly palace, and came down Himself to save a rebel; though He was rich, yet for my sake He became poor, that I through His poverty might be rich. God has called me unto His kingdom and glory; He hath translated me into the kingdom of the Son of His love; and shall the loyal words falter or fail from my lips, 'Thou art my King'?

O Saviour, precious Saviour, whom yet unseen we love;
O Name of might and favour, all other name above!
We worship Thee, we bless Thee, to Thee alone we sing;
We praise Thee, and confess Thee our Holy Lord and King!"

All work and no play makes Jodi a dull blogger...

2007-06-13T11:21:00.000+10:00

Ok - so first up I have an apology to make (apparently). The other night I was taken to task by one reader for not being too consistent in the number of posts I've been making lately... I wouldn't have thought this was too much of an issue myself, but there you have it.
So for the moment, let me tell you that I've return to be a wandering gypsy and will be away from Sydney/home for the next month or so. Not international this time, but very much up and down the east coast of the great land of Oz. As I type, I'm sitting in Stanwell Tops conference centre on the AFES Snr Staff conference - sometimes very challenging and others (like now as I sit in the board review) not so much. Last night was one of the challenging times as we looked at the role of women in ministry as per a exegesis of the greek 1 Tim 2:11-15. Always going to be thought provoking for me because I want to be thinking about what I do as I do teach young men and women, or, in the case of this coming semester, preach at Credo public meeting. Always good to re-think my position and try and humbly sit under God's word.
The highlight of the next month is going to be heading to Fraser Is (pretty much this time next week). I CAN'T WAIT! I know that it's an abhorrent thought to some, by I am longing to just spend a week on my own.
I wont bore people with the details - you'll just get them, and reflections as the weeks go on.

Silence and the voice of God

2007-06-04T17:29:00.000+10:00

It seems to me that there is a reason why movies are so violent. A reason as to why there is so much suffering, a search for justice, the presence of good and evil (even though the lines may sometimes be blurred). It's biblical.

I watched two movies this weekend; The Chronicles of Narnia and Kingdom of Heaven. Although I have seen both before, I was struck by the seeming silence of God in the face of enormous travesties. The reason why I was so struck by it is because of a challenge, and rebuke, that was laid down for me a few weeks ago at SMBC's preaching conference.

It was a fantastic week of teaching and instruction - but more than that it invigorated me anew with a passion to read God's 'older' covenant (aka promise/testament) to His people. In particular, I have been reading through the book of Judges. Having not read it in a long time, I was confronted there with accounts of murder, adultery, treachery, rebellion, indecision, rape and brutality. On the face of it, not your typical bible 'stories'. There are accounts of almost unbelievable human pain and suffering in the face of either their own, or other peoples, rebellion against God. And through it all, He seems to be silent.

Where is God when Jael betrays an alliance that her husband has, and hammers a tent-peg through a sleeping mans skull (or that Deborah seems to take such delight in recounting it)?

What does it say about God's character that He stands by and allows a woman (a concubin) to be sent by her husband to be brutally raped (by not just a few men but by a whole town!) only to have her crawl back to the doorstep where her master is staying - have him walk over her, demand that she get up and then, on finding that she's dead, to have him mutilate her further by hacking her body into twelve pieces and sending them to his 'neighbours'.

How can that be? How can I affirm that God is good when I read these things or just look out my window and see the suffering in the world that we live in?

When you read through the book of Judges, you can't help but notice the cyclical nature of the literature. Things are good, people are in harmony with God's wishes, they sin, they actively rebel and walk away from God, He sends a judge to warn them of the consequences, they keep rebelling, God judges, they repent, follow God's ways and things are good again... repeat cycle again and again over a period of about 400 years... But a little more reflective reading of the whole book shows us that the 'cycle' isn't so much about all the little patterns but about one big one.

What happens to the concubine in ch19 is, in God's providence and sovereignty, a direct result of what happened some 400 years previously when the Benjamite people failed to do what they were supposed to (cf 1:21). The concubines 12 pieces are sent to the 12 tribes of Israel so that 11 of them may unite against the Benjamite tribe - so that God's original purposes are fulfilled; namely that Jerusalem belong to Gods chosen people (the Israelites) and not their enemies. Through it all, (whether over 400 years or today) God is working.

Try as we might to wrap everything up into nice neat little packages, scripture sometimes just wont allow us to reduce God's character to something that we can understand. To be honest, there is a part of me that really doesn't like it and, like an impatient child, I want to cover my ears with my hands and scream 'NO' in frustration and lack of understanding.

But you know what? The other part of me LOVES it! I relish in the fact that the God that I serve is big enough to stand up to my questions and impatient challenges. His soverignty does not need to defend itself - the question is how easily will I kneel before it...

Thoughts?

Reason # 5 - Um, I might be scary?

2007-05-26T18:07:00.000+10:00

A couple of years ago I was getting a lift back to a campsite that a group of us were staying at, when one of the guys in the car was talking about his first impressions of meeting me. He said he'd thought I was scary, that he had (initially) felt intimated - partly by my personality and partly being knowing what I do for a 'job'. He said something along the lines of not being sure how to approach me (even in just a friendship context) and that it took a while to get over his preconceived notions. I was SHOCKED! Me? Intimidating? Considering I know myself, and I know my weaknesses and insecurities it was hard to see how this apparently confident, secure and self assured individual could have felt that way. But he isn't alone is he? We all have different notions about what a person might be like before we actually dig a little deeper and get to know them.

So I've saved the trickiest reason for why I am currently single for the last of these series of posts. It's one that, although I have theories about (naturally), I don't really have any answers or conclusions to give. This one is out of my hands so, if they're bold enough, I'll leave it to the boys to respond to...

Here goes, reason # 5 for singleness: because I'm in full time (paid) ministry.

I was 'warned' while at college that it would be harder. I was told that Christian women in ministry are almost 3 times more likely to stay single than their male counterparts. That guys find it much harder to ask out a female in paid ministry for any number of reasons. Two of the biggest being a feeling of intimidation or an uncertainty about whether they can lead a woman who leads others.

It sucks. I don't like it but I think I knew what I was getting in for when I started so I'm not really complaining, just stating what I see as a contributing factor.

I get it - but I don't. Feel free to enlighten me guys...

PS - here ends this series of posts; next week, preaching conference and the Word.

Reason # 4 - If I'm picky enough about my shoes...

2007-05-22T21:58:00.000+10:00

I'll admit it, I have a shoe fetish. It's been inherited and cultivated over the years through my mother. Generally speaking, they need to be functional (doesn't always mean practical though), to be feminine and have the spunk and personality to go with the outfit. It may not always be obvious from what I wear to uni, but I'm picky about my shoes.

So if I'm going to be picky about my shoes - then how much more so about a relationship? Not any old shoe will fit - so why do we try and make relationships?

I don't want it to seem too much of a contrast from reason #3, but my grandparents can supply an answer to reason 4 for singleness: I want a part of what they have in a relationship - and I'll wait until I get it. While spending some time with my Nan a couple of weeks ago, she told me the stories of their early courtship. They met briefly at a wedding of a mutual friend in 1940. Two weeks later, being unable to get her out of his head, my grandfather went and borrowed a dog so that he could walk it up and down her street until he could 'bump into her'. During the war, they wrote to each other every day and over the 65 years that they have now been married their adoration for each other has only grown.

Not too long ago, I met a woman who (in the face of recently beginning to date someone) told me that there comes a time when you have to realise that there isn't going to be a guy who models for country road and wants to do mission. I was horrified. On two levels really: firstly that she would have such a superficial understanding about a relationship - but also that she was so determined just to be married that she would 'settle' for anyone who wanted to marry her.

Now I may be a romantic, but I'm not an idealist. It's not (repeat not) that I am waiting for some Mr Perfect - but I know myself, what I want to give and receive in a relationship. And I also know that I don't want to 'settle' because I know that a marriage takes more commitment than that. So for me, a part of my singleness comes from the fact I'm patient enough to wait for someone that I can offer the best of myself to, and vice versa.

Shoes need to fit properly - who willingly asks for blisters?

If home is where the heart is - can I have two?

2007-05-20T21:04:00.000+10:00

Pets are pretty amazing. They're a part of your family and are pretty much one of the few things that you can count on to unconditionally love and trust you - even after the crappiest of days. The fact that it's been a rough couple of months kind of came to a head on Thursday when we had to put my dog (of 12 years) down. It sucks. So I ran away - but I ran to a 'home' of my past.

There is a place down south where I pretty much spent my summers growing up. In its' remoteness and isolation, it's a place where I feel completely safe, comfortable and at peace - so I went back down this weekend to spend some time with the family friends who live there. And being in a reflective mood, I thought I'd give you some memories.

I went for a couple of runs, about 5 km's of beautiful beaches and invariably my runs would take me past this place. It's known as 'the Gantree' - seen here for fishing, but for me, it was the place where I went to learn how to do backflips when the tide was high enough.

As well as the sun and the surf, time down south always revolved around the beach and about 10 of us sitting around a big table eating enormous amounts of great food. This weekend was no exception - except now it involves more good wine for me.

The only negative about this weekend was getting tossed around like a rag doll in the surf while kayaking, and getting smacked in the back of the head with an oar. I have some almighty bruises...

...but considering that this was the view from my room - I think it was worth it.

Reason # 3 - Are we too serious?

2007-05-16T08:26:00.001+10:00

Ok - so it's been a while since my last post. Lots has been going on, most notably all last week I was away on a preaching conference at Sydney Missionary and Bible College; where Don Carson and Dale Ralph Davies (among a few others) took a couple of hundred of us through Gods word and what it means to teach it to others. It was awesome - but I'll write more about that after I've processed it all. For the moment, I'm going to finish what I started a couple of weeks ago before everything went nutso on me...

Are we Christians sometimes too serious, or too intense, as we approach the idea of romantic relationships? What happened to good old fashioned dating? Getting to know each other in a particular context to see if something might happen in the future? In a mature and Godly way, exploring possibilities (yes while looking out for one another and being careful of not abusing someone's heart) and not thinking that going out for coffee (or dinner) meant that you automatically had to start thinking about marriage?

(well, I thought it was funny...)

Update

2007-05-04T09:37:00.000+10:00

HE SURVIVED! Still waiting to see how he'll recover but we're all a lot happier today.

2007-05-03T19:43:00.000+10:00

It's been a crappy 48 hours but this is the quickest way to get a scratch of info out to people as to my lack of responsiveness. I'm in Gosford, staying with my Nanna while my Pop, at this moment, lies in surgery that will continue until around 11pm. I came up yesterday after hearing that he has had another heart attack. Doctors have said he wont survive long without surgery (a couple of days?) - but that he probably wont survive another invasive procedure (he just had one a couple of months ago). But he's a tough, stubborn Scottish man - so I'm holding out hope.

I know that there are some who read this who are not Christian - and to that end I ask you to read this next section with an open mind, patience, to be challenged or at the very least, with the knowledge that it is unbelievably hard for me to write.

No one in my family are Christian. Last night my Nan told me that Pop turned his back on God, and the church, a number of years ago. Trying to offer words of comfort or hope (in the face of a situation where I know from Scripture that there is none) that are also true... I am finding almost to hard to bear. But by the grace of God...

Please pray for my family and myself. I'm working off about 3 hours sleep here since Wednesday morning. Will post more later.

Reason #2 - He's just not that into...me.

2007-04-25T22:49:00.000+10:00

I read this book last year and it was sensational - hysterically funny and poignant in parts, as it dissected a handful of relationship do's and don'ts. After too many coffee chats on the topic, and seeing an interview with the author on Oprah (the source of all 'good' relationship info - pls note the sarcasm) I decided to head out and see what all the fuss was about over the latest pop psych book on the enigma that is men and women.

Once you get over the Americanism's and the worldly language, the basic premise of the book is that if a guy is into you - he'll ask you out. Sounds obvious huh (the boys are thinking 'well yes') but, as the infamous Sex and The City episode also said (which is where the book came from and out of) - girls waste hours of time thinking through and trying to understand the strategies of men wondering if the guys are playing a bit of a game. We say things to each other like: he's shy/nervous/intimidated; he's getting over a bad relationship; he's busy with his job/sport/anything else... blah blah blah. The author (a straight shooting male) says that this is basically crap and that women need to realise that if a guy is really into you - he'll ask you out. That even if perhaps they are nervous, they like the challenge and will some how work out a way to try and be with you - letting no job, sport or mountain get in their way. No ifs or buts...

Actually it's a pretty liberating philosophy. There are guys that I'm either interested in romantically, or not. In no way does it lessen the way that I value them - and hopefully vice versa. Ironically (because it comes from the worlds viewpoint and not a biblical one - but on second thought maybe it's a worldly viewpoint because there is a fundamental biblical truth to it!) it also frees me up to be feminine in the way that, I think, God intended me to be. I don't have to do, question or try and read into anything because the guy who is interested, will be the one who does something about it.

Which will lead me to #3 soon...

Single for God or for good?

2007-04-23T21:22:00.000+10:00

This weekend just gone I went on the CCSI 6:45 houseparty - the topic being "Relationships". Talks ranged from singleness, marriage, divorce and sexual purity - broad topics but the speaker (Warwick deJersey) managed to convey enough strength of conviction in the way that he spoke to see many people provoked and prodded into some serious reflections. Myself included.

But it has also given me the impetuous to write a series of posts that I've been thinking about for a while now, but have just felt a bit too self conscious about to make public. In last few months I've had a number of people ask me the question "Why are you single?". To be honest , it's surprised me that people are curious but since there are reasons (some better than others) I thought I'd put them down.

So here goes - post #1: Once bitten - twice shy

Warwick kept on using the image of superglue; that relationships are sticky and things become very raw when they get ripped apart. He was using it in specific reference to sex - but I think it goes beyond that. I think that (perhaps) God designed us to be with one person emotionally as well as sexually. That the reason why break-ups hurt so much is because they were never supposed to happen in the first place. That with each relationship that ends, a piece of you has been left behind too. And because once you've had the experience of a broken heart, it's a pain that you will go to many lengths to avoid ever happening again.

And although I have a heart that is mended, I'm cautious about who I would want to offer it to again. I like my heart - no, more than that, I value and respect it so I'm happy to wait for someone to show it the same amount of value. So that's one reason...

"Those Chili People..."

2007-04-17T21:12:00.000+10:00

So a couple of weeks ago my 58 year old father came to me and asked if I'd heard of "these Hot Chili People". Being somewhat cluey I figured that he meant the Chili Peppers so in a bemused tone I said yes, I'd heard of them. Long story short - his company has a box at the Accer Arena meaning he gets offered tickets to all kinds of gigs. He turned these ones down because he didn't think they sounded interesting...

After seeing my aghast expression my darling daddy realised and set about rectifying his mistake. So Thursday night I'm off to the Chili's! Yeah! As off today I have the outfit (courtesy of the brilliant bec&bridge), tomorrow Tommy will work out the hair - so I'm all set for a night of fun and frivolity with my Dad. Unfortunately for him, he finds the music on mix 106.5 trying at times so I'm not too sure how he's going to cope (he's rejected my offer to listen to a CD or 2 beforehand and prefers instead to be surprised - poor little lamb has no idea what he's in for).

But I'm saving the best news of this post til last: for those who read a couple of weeks ago about my friends daughter, Gemma (with the blindness and Cerebral Palsy), I have a excellent, exiting, amazing and perhaps miraculous update. Yesterday morning the neurologists cleared her of CP - apparently the signs she has been exhibiting can be attributed to the blindness.

Praise God huh?

2007-04-11T17:35:00.000+10:00

ETC has been and gone and it was a really great time. I've decided that from now on, the staff are going to have a champagne breakfast on the last morning to say "yeah, we got through the first semester!" There were times when I would question it... but it's all worked out in the end. More reflections about ETC will come later, but for now I have something far more important for you to read/think about and, if you're a Christian, then to ask you to pray about.

This is one of my favourite photos. I took it on April 10th 2005 within minutes of Penny and Marty saying their 'I do's". I love it - spontaneous, carefree and full of joy in the moments that have been and are to come.

Two years and one day later (ie today) saw Pen and I sitting in the New Orleans cafe in Crows Nest while Marty lies in surgery having one of his kidneys removed because of the threat of the dreaded word... cancer.

Really there are two scenarios at the moment. The first is they take out a kidney and everything will be ok. The second is that Marty's recent anaemia is a sign that the cancer is already in the kidneys. If this is the case, then the doctors have said there is nothing more they would be able to do. I can't believe that I actually have to say that, let alone that it is even the remotest of possibilities for my beloved friends.

Can you please pray that isn't going to be the outcome? That the docs really have just laid out worst case scenario because they have to?

I have to say this has been a head spinning couple of months, hence less than previously seen quantities of posts becuase it's been tough to process it all. I didn't think I could see so much hardship and suffering happening to so many people that I love all at once. It sucks not being able to take their pain away. Knowing that I'm not in control but that God, in His providence, is. It's hard.

All's not quiet on the western front...

2007-04-02T23:08:00.000+10:00

Lack of posts over the last little while hasn't been because nothing is happening - on the contrary it's almost as though there has been too much happening - and I need a little time to process it all. And since a band aid wont fix it, I'm going to leave some time and space (and to ask friends if it's ok for me to post about them!) before making some more 'happy to be read' reflections...

In the meantime though - it's mission week at UTS. Today, students handed out 600 hot cross buns, 3000 of these postcards (inviting people to some evangelistic talks) and 5 people said that they wanted to join small groups to learn more about Jesus... not bad for a Monday morning huh?

Controlled Chaos

2007-03-25T22:34:00.000+10:00

So the bottom line is that ever since the beginning of term my life has been feeling a little out of control. Not too unexpected - nor is it to bad - but just enough to make me feel... antsy. Do you know that feeling?

The washing, dust and cobwebs have been piling up but as of today I'm seeing the proverbial light through the tunnel. I'm putting it down to daylight saving giving me an extra hour to take care of things.

I'm liking it to pilates reformer - another form of controlled chaos. The update I promised - it is damn hard! I'd like to think I'm pretty flexible. When I'm on the ground I can do the splits, but not when I'm in mid air stretched between two pole thingies without being able to hold on to anything for balance. Still worth giving a go though if you get the chance.

Student Ministry - Can it change the world?

2007-03-21T22:44:00.000+11:00

This is the topic that I am going to be speaking on this Friday night, 7:30 (for 7:45 kickoff) at Christ Church St.Ives. It's put on by the mission group at my church - and is a chance for me to speak about student ministry and what I'm doing etc.

Feel very free to come along - I'm hoping that we can get a group to head out for a couple of drinks and/or dinner after.

Don't Just Quote Me...

2007-03-12T20:51:00.000+11:00

So, as promised, here is the first of the instalments into an exploration of Romans. It's brief, and focused on one small section - but that's because right now, it's hitting close to the bone. To start we, we're jumping straight into what I think is often one of the most mis (or inappropriately) quoted verses of the bible...

"And we know that in all things, God works for the good of those who love Him" (Roms 8:28)

How many times have you heard that verse (or perhaps trotted it out yourself?) when someone has been going through something rough. In and of itself of course I must affirm that it's not a bad thing to say (it is after all, Scripture that God has given to us that is true and right) - but I think that caution must be used before jumping into a situation with these words. It's good though for us to remember that these words haven't come from someone whose life has coasted along in serenity. Paul has faced despair, persecution (to the point of death) constant beatings and imprisonment. Put into the context of the passage (Roms 8:18-39) Paul is helping us to think about what it means, and what our attitude should be, as ones living in a world that is groaning, as in the pains of childbirth, while waiting to be restored to it's former glory.

Let's put it into a practical scenario shall we? On Thursday I went up north to spend some time with some much loved friends. In the last couple of weeks they have received some news about their beautiful baby girl, Gemma.

Gem in now 3 months old - and they've recently been told that she may be facing blindness and Cerebral Palsy. One is big enough - but both? Both! I have cried for the injustice of it. As Christians, with a biblical theology of the fall and of the restoration that is to come, we know that this world is not as it should be. This section of Romans gives us Paul's perspective on what it means to look forward to a future glory. The future restoration of the world - physical and spiritual - to the way that God intended it to be.

So you tell me, what would you tell my friends?

All too often Christians will try and comfort their friends who are suffering with the words of Roms 8:28, but all too often these words will come out as being trite and blasé to one who is facing genuine pain and suffering. Sometimes, the thing to do is not to jump to offering the words, but rather to sit in silence and mourn with them. Mourn that this world is not as it should be – and remember together that, by Christ, God will restore all of His creation to the Glory that we were supposed to enjoy.

And that my friends, is hope…

Please pray for this gorgeous little girl. Please pray for my wonderful friends - who are two people who constantly inspire and challenge me in Godliness and what it means to serve Him in all things.

Pray for whatever aspect you want; healing for Gemma, patience, love and wisdom for her parents - perhaps most of all that the hand that Gem clings to will be that of her Lord and Saviour, Jesus.

Don't Sweat It

2007-03-03T19:08:00.000+11:00

Looks like a torture instrument doesn't it? Close - but it's designed for good not evil. In the spirit of trying new things, and working on being disciplined in my life, this morning I went for my first ever 'pilates reformer' class. It was tough! You see the women in the ads and they look graceful and in control. I just felt clunky. But 11 hours later and my muscles are starting to feel it.

During those 11 hours (while those muscles recoup) my brain has been stretched further than normal. In the last couple of months I've been working on a series of studies about the second half of Romans. It was supposed to be ready on Wednesday. By Friday I had a bit of a breakdown in the office when I realised that I couldn't get my head around the whole thing. In the words of N.T. Wright, the Book of Romans is "neither a systematic theology nor a summary of Paul's lifework, but it is by common consent his masterpiece. It dwarfs most of his other writings, an Alpine peak towering over hills and villages. Not all onlookers have viewed it in the same light or from the same angle, and their snapshots and paintings of it are sometimes remarkably unalike. Not all climbers have taken the same route up its sheer sides, and there is frequent disagreement on the best approach. What nobody doubts is that we are here dealing with a work of massive substance, presenting a formidable intellectual challenge while offering a breathtaking theological and spiritual vision".

(Whew, no pressure!)

But like any mountaineer who's daunted by their object/subject it's good to approach things bit by bit. And that's what I'm going to do with the studies for Credo and we'll see how God chooses to work through it. To that end (and I could be making a bold claim here) I'm going to endeavour to post, each Monday, some musing on the sections of Romans that I have prepared for the Credoities (and students who read will get a preview in that case but I trust that you'll use it for good). Please feel very free to post your thoughts and interact with me here on it - I want to be able to make it better for if we use the studies again.

The one thing I know already is that Romans, like the pilates course, is going to take a lot of discipline, patience and perseverance - with a fair amount of stiffness along the way. But like most things, I'm sure the discipline will pay off. Apparently, after 30 sessions on the 'torture' reformer I could look as calm and in control as this girl. We'll see...

Puddeling Along...

2007-02-27T21:32:00.000+11:00

Remember that time when you were a kid, and the rain would come and make puddles in the street and (because you were a kid and didn't care about the consequences) you'd look for any opportunity just to go and jump in them and splash around? Think of some words to describe that time in life: carefree, exuberant, spontaneous, uninhibited... all the things that stop us jumping in puddles as adults right?

This last week I have been feeling less and less like the proverbial jump in the puddles because I've been stressing about how this year would work out. How many contacts would we get? Would we be faithful stewards with them? Would we be able to get small groups going? Would we have enough leaders.... the questions kept on coming - and being the (only slightly!!!) control personality type that I am - not having the answers was doing my head in.

Yesterday the clouds literally rolled in over Sydney, and UTS. The skies opened and the rain bucketed down. Yesterday was supposed to be one of the most stressful days in the semester for me as we set up small groups and had the first 'Forum' time (small group leader training which is one of my new projects this year). It ended up being a great day. Long story short - I am a silly child of God who always forgets the lesson that He has things in hand: God is just patient enough with us to allow us to make those mistakes again and again and try and learn from them.

It was with a sense of great relief that I caught the train home last night. I was... exuberant. Carefree, joyful and all the rest - all this in spite of the knowledge that I was probably going to get soaked walking back to my car. Getting off the train I rolled up my jeans and took off my shoes to minimise the damage that inevitably comes from sludging through the rain that collects on the streets of Gordon. Halfway to my car I peeked out from under my umbrella and looked around. There were puddles everywhere.

So I jumped in them. I did. I splashed around in the water and just had fun with it.

Yesterday afternoon, like a stark raving lunatic, a 27 yr old played in the puddles. And it was awesome. Try it next time for yourself - go on, I dare you...

And so it begins...

2007-02-20T22:49:00.000+11:00

I'm biding my time. I should be going to bed to get some good rest for the next few days to come - but I'm a little too wound up. You see, tomorrow morning is the start of 'O' day at UTS - and what I personally mark as the beginning of the crazy season which goes on until Easter. Don't get me wrong, I think that it's going to be good, but 'O' Day has traditionally been a marker for me of the new Credo year and so I feel an air of anticipation.

I've been up thinking about what kind of year would I like it to be? From the outset, let me say that I know some things are going to be hard - with more responsibility always comes more opportunities to stuff things up. I'm a realist so I know that it's going to happen (just a matter of minimising the damage really) - but take out the realism of things falling short of expectations and I still have hopes and dreams for the Credoites.

In particular, some recent dialogues on Justins blog (sorry, still don't know the tech way to make links you'll just have to find it yourselves) have made me think specifically about what I hope the students learn from this year. I want them to get their teeth into the meatiness of scripture (as opposed to the fluffiness of other 'spiritual' trends). I want them to grapple and wrestle with their relationships with God - to be confronted, taken out of their comfort zones and, by the glorious graciousness of His Holy Spirit, to come out on the other side as one refined by fire (actually I want the same thing for myself too, but it feels less confronting to keep it abstract and into the lives of others doesn't it?).

I want them to experience laughter and joy - and I want to have enough energy to be sharing as much of it with them as possible. But here's a thought - how many times have I said "I want" in the last couple of sentences - what about what God will want? Ultimately what I want most is for my will to conform to His - and for the wisdom that, as a staff team, we know best how to serve those that God will entrust to us this year.

And speaking of the staff team - here we are. This is of course not our official photo - I just had to include it because it captures a bit of what I'm feeling at the moment: everyone else seems ready but I'm left with the "huh? what's going on?" expression.

Left to right, standing to sitting we are Kat, Dave, Paul, Mike, myself, Bec and May - please pray for us?

#3 - Invest in good furniture

2007-02-20T09:58:00.000+11:00

Clearly recovering from the shock of having no clothes - this one seems to be all about me making sure my skirt is sitting appropriately... Lisa (girl next to me) is the next door neighbour who taught me that card board boxes could range from being a race car to a doll house on any given day.

And that couch that we're on? Those who've been to my place should recognise it. Some 30 years later and it's still going strong - which is why the lesson is to invest in good furniture cos it can last a long long time.

Ok - no more childhood photo's, I've moved on. Justin's blog has gotten me fired up about some things so there's an abrupt change in blog 'tone' coming up next post...

#2 - Have appropriate attire when dealing with animals

2007-02-19T08:54:00.000+11:00

This one could have been disastrous. The dogs head was as big as my body - not always the best combination for a baby. Lucky for me it was apparently love at first sight. As soon as he saw me i was his - and he'd growl if anyone he didn't know came within a 5 ft radius. I just saw him as my very own pony and he graciously let me ride him as such til i was almost 2...

...and at the very leats put some bottoms on your child if they're sitting in the grass - surely that's got to get uncomfortable?

Lessons From Childhood: # 1 - Don't dress your child like an elf

2007-02-17T23:41:00.000+11:00

Left to right: mum, me (the chubby baby!) and my half brother and sister (my sister could soon be having a picture like this of her own cos she's 8 months pregnant). Now, I would like to think that I know my mother pretty well, and trust me, that look on her face says that she is definitely unhappy about something. It's the look she reserves for when she's either really hurt or really angry so I wonder what had been going on when that photo was taken.

It's kind of ironic when you contrast her face to the kids - and the seemingly ideal surroundings of our backyard picnic. Maybe she's just unhappy because she's realised that she's dressed her only daughter up as an elf - and I'm pretty sure it was well past Halloween. Lesson to parents everywhere - learn from the mistakes of the 70's and stop dressing your babies like fictitious characters...

I take it back - I love technology

2007-02-13T18:09:00.000+11:00

So here is one of the reasons why this last week has been so difficult with my computer...
Last Monday night I hit the town with Craig for a spot of night photography. After spending so much time taking photos from other places, I realised that I wanted to have something of my home town - that and it was a good excuse to play and try and see what other things my camera can come up with. This is actually one of my favourite shots from the night - I just like the contrast of the sharpness of the building compared with the blurry figure... but a couple of others will be on flickr soon too.

If nothing else - this week (with the threat of losing all my photos) has served as a great excuse to go meandering through the passages of time, and memories that are evoked from images. Isn't it amazing how something so small can throw you back to another time - another world - so vividly? Not to be too dramatic, but I really did almost pass out when the tech guys told me they thought everything was gone: the threat of having nothing to look back on was awful so I'm so thankful that staying up til the wee hours of the morning has paid off!

So to that end, I'm going to celebrate some memories and share some childhood photos over the next week or so.

Til then...

as soon as you read this...

2007-02-12T14:48:00.000+11:00

...back up your hard-drive and any thing else that is technologically based. Now. Just go - stop reading and do it...

i have not backed up in a little while and so you can imagine that last week sucked as my computer crashed on me and i lost about 1200 photos, my 'i tunes' folders and can no longer access my 'macmail' and 'safari' (i'm using someone elses computer at the moment). Tonight i need to wipe my hard drive and start from scracth. This is not supposed to happen to macs surely? (admittedly it is my fault - but really, how was i supposed to know that you're meant to have more than 1gig on your start up drive!?)

sometimes technology sucks.

...in the eye of the beholder

2007-01-31T00:43:00.000+11:00

According to an online dictionary, beauty is defined as "the quality present in a thing or person that gives intense pleasure or deep satisfaction to the mind, whether arising from sensory manifestations (as shape, colour, sound, etc.), a meaningful design or pattern, or something else (as a personality in which high spiritual qualities are manifest)".

But what does that mean? As a person who has spent much (professional) time dedicated to making other people 'more beautiful' this is something that I've often thought about: how can something be beautiful to one person - and mean virtually nothing to someone else?

With the onset of another year at Credo we have already begun thinking about and planning for our major Easter conference - and this year, the topic for the long weekend is "Creation". Along with some others, I've been doing some summer reading on the subject - mostly in a book by David Wilkinson "The Message of Creation". I liked it when he says that "God is an artist who creates on a vast canvas with huge brushstrokes. He celebrates diversity, making a Universe that communicates His greatness, joy and generosity." For me it gives a depth to understanding that different people will find different things to be beautiful because God has created us with the ability to choose what we enjoy.

And yet it feels as though that isn't enough. I feel as though there should be more to it than that. That somehow, there is a greater richness to what God defines and understands beauty to be - but here on earth we just can't quite get it past the tips of our tongues.

The other day i walked around my home, esp my garden, to find things that were interesting to me. Here's one...

...I thought it was beautiful. But that could just be me.

"...for we are young and free"

2007-01-26T22:07:00.000+11:00

Top five reasons why it's good to be an Aussie today - you can make up your own captions...

"Comedy" of Errors

2007-01-25T00:38:00.000+11:00

You know the classic comedy scene in movies where someone walks into a glass door or wall and falls down?

That was me today at this shop in Chastwood. Everyone in the nearby stores and coffee shop went "ooohh" (and then quietly laughed) while i proceeded to try and hold my head, not to mention my dignity, together for the next couple of hours.

People - stop cleaning your glass so much!

2007-01-20T21:01:00.000+11:00

Tonight marks the second night in a row that I have gotten to stay in my own place in about 7-8 weeks: and it's been so great today to just be able to sit around my own place - esp cooking my own food and not having to deal with the over processed "food" that you often get on camps.

JLC was good for two main reasons:

Firstly - being able to spend time with old friends (only Teresa and AP are pictured here but hopefully the others know how much I loved spending time with them too!)

Secondly - learning some things about myself and the people that I minister too. It was a pretty insightful week in starting to understand a little more about some of the key needs of uni students - primarily that many of them (and I'm only sort of sorry for the ones who read this who might get offended) need to start to learn to think for themselves about how they read and understand the bible - as opposed to just being spoon fed and regurgitating what they've heard before.

But the flip side is, that's also the challenge for me too then. How much have I - or any Christian - sunk into the patterns of not engaging with the bible for ourselves - and on it's own terms?

So yeah, it was a good week. And now, I finally get to have that glass of red...

A private goodbye made public

2007-01-12T18:32:00.000+11:00

So if you've read Justin's comment on my last post you may have gotten the idea that there was a little chaos in me getting to and on the plane. Let's just say that it's not the best idea to not set an alarm clock (when you have to be out of the apartment at 7.25) because it could mean that you get woken up at 7.05 and still have to shower and, of yeah, pack... but I got there.

What that all meant in practice though, was that I didn't get a proper chance to say goodbye to the Moffats - just a harried "Bye - See you soon". And because I didn't get to say the final words that I wanted to, I'm taking a risk (of possibly embarrassing them a little) and letting everyone else in a 'see ya' to the Moff's and NYC...

I think you know you have a great friendship with someone when it's ok to be real with each other in everything. So first up, I want to say thanks. For sharing your lives and love with me - laughter, tears, tantrums (ok so that was just for 'the Boy') - it was great to be there and share all of it with you. I have so much respect for both of you, that it was just way to easy to tear up when thinking about how much I've missed having you around.

But having said that - more than ever I meant those words that I said on my first night there. I really do think that you're there because God has put you in a place to help change the world for His glory. No matter whether it is from the depths or heights of emotions - you always have that as a compass to guide what you guys do over there.

Justin - thanks for that chats and the odd 'rant time'. It was great to have them with you and to see you in action again. It was a blessing to see and meet the people of CCNYC - now i have a much better understanding of how to be praying for them, and you and John, as you minister together.

Laurel - you always amaze me. Your strength, sense of humour and patience are inspiring. If i ever become a wife and mother you're one of the women that I want to come to for advice. All that and an incredibly fun tour guide too! I wish we could have chatted more - when you get here we're going for High Tea somewhere.

And thanks for a great last night in NY - if only they'd had "When Harry Met Sally"! I'll have to get it out sometime soon.

But now I am back in Sydney. It probably wasn't the wisest choice but tomorrow morning (yes within 24 hours of getting back in town) I'll be on January Leadership Conference - spending time at Galston Gorge with some young people who are thinking about what to do, and how to think about, being a Christian their first year of uni. At first I was dreading it - but now I'm looking forward to what can happen this upcoming week. Pleas pray for us because these weeks can be life-changing for heaps of these young'uns.

It'll be nice to get into my own bed soon...

Start Spreading the News...

2007-01-09T15:42:00.000+11:00

Well, I'm not quite leaving today because, let's face it, I'm already 'here' but I do feel as though I've been a part of it since Saturday when I arrived in NYC.

So far what I'm going to be walking away with is the people. Obviously spending time with old friends (like Justin here shown reading a bed time story to "The Boy) but also getting a glimpse into the lives of some others. On Sunday night I went a little out of my comfort zone and sat down to a Mexican dinner with 6 complete strangers. I didn't know a single person on the table. The way we met was through Christ Church NYC (where most of them attend regularly) and since Justin was busy after the service I tagged along with them. And I am so glad that I did!

Have you ever had a meal with strangers? Ever had to work your way into a conversation amongst a group of established friends? For many (like myself) it's not an easy thing to do - but as the night went on I was able to learn about these people; what excites them about life and their walk with God; why they make the decisions they do to affect where they fellowship and how they try to stand out in a culture that is all about how you can make your life more comfortable than the next persons.

This has kind of been brought into the forefront of my mind because tonight, Laurel and I watched "The Devil Wears Prada" - a movie that I've wanted to see since it came. The screen writers have shown incredible perception when they unveil the slow and steady decline of 'Andy' (main character) into a world of self-absorption and decision making that comes with detriment to others. If you haven't already seen it - go get it out on dvd because it really does show you something about the selfish state of a superficial and sinful human heart.

But back to my dinner. The humbling thing is that, although not directly by name, these were the people that I have been praying for since the Moffats moved over here. Like may others I'm sure I've been praying for them and their ministry and the growth and maturity of the church - so it was a real blessing to spend time with them and be a little better informed about their lives as well as to see the congregation in action.

Don't get me wrong, the sights (and shopping) have all been great and I've had a wonderful time wandering around - but since it's mostly been about the people, I'll leave you with a shot of "The Girl" (isn't she gorgeous???) and I'll put some scenic/touristy photos and stories up on the flickr later.